Words of a Wolf

Copyright across the Atlantic ...

2012-01-20T18:16:00.000Z

What interesting times we live in as creative people. Here in the UK the government are trying to reduce the effectiveness of copyright by trying to introduce less effective legislation and methods of licensing that don't look after the interests of creative professionals (pause for breath - those of you needing an inhaler, please use now) while over the side of the pond we have a media battle over the implications of PIPA (Protect Intellectual Property Act) and SOPA Stop Online Piracy Act).

I like the idea of what PIPA and SOPA are trying to do but it seems to have gotten lost in the political spin. Basically they want to protect Intellectual Property ... but I feel that it's important to know that the money pushing this forward has come mainly from the music and film industry. I haven't seen much hype about the abuse of photography, paintings or the written word.

The waters surrounding the issue have been muddied to the degree that the bills may well fail as politicians seem to be worrying more about staying in power rather than doing the right thing. One of the issues being raised is that the bills will affect the citizens' freedom of speech over the internet. I fail to see how these acts could do that as you can still say what you want to say about anything you want (as long as you don't breach libel laws) but you just don't put links to any pirated media alongside the article.

Here in the UK, the reason for changing the copyright legislation is clear. Big business and educational establishments want to be able to use intellectual property without having to pay for it or without having to pay an appropriate price for using it.

There have been comments stating that the copyright laws are too tight. Copyright is copyright - it is automatic and it is there to serve a purpose: to stop creative works being abused. As such it achieves its aims.

I haven't seen any form of analysis to estimate how much is lost annually in earnings by creative people (musicians, poets, writers, photographers, artists, film makers etc). What the UK legal system DOES need is a quicker, cost effective way of bringing copyright cases to the courts.

The copyright legislation as such in the UK is fine but it does need to start taking account of 'moral rights' that are granted us by both International & Europrean Human Rights legislation:

United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights Article 27 (2) states:

1. Everyone has the right freely to participate in the cultural life of the community, to enjoy the arts and to share in scientific advancement and its benefits.

2. Everyone has the right to the protection of the moral and material interests resulting from any scientific, literary or artistic production of which he is the author.

Note also that a recent UK court ruling (20thC Fox vs 'Newsbin2') established that -

Copyrights are property rights protected by Article 1 of the First Protocol of the European Convention on Human Rights, as also expressed in Article 1 of the First Protocol of the Human Rights Act 1998;

piracy of copyright work is a breach of the copyright holder's human rights;

the copyright holder is therefore entitled to legal redress;

and, because 'so far as possible, primary legislation and subordinate legislation must be read and given effect in a way which is compatible with human rights', legislation drafted and enacted subsequent to the enactment of the Human Rights Act 1998 must also be read and given effect in a way which is compatible with human rights.

I have no doubt in my mind that Hargreaves was hired to present a particular point of view rather than a balanced review of the UK's copyright laws.

So what's the common donimator in both of these big scale efforts accross the pond? Money! Both of these nations are trying to achieve opposite aims, the politicans are are treading carefully around the voters and the creative communities are sat waiting wondering what's going to happen next.

Somewhere in Eutopia someone's sat there thinking, 'Imagine what they could have done globally if they'd pooled their resources and involved other countries and came up with a set of global legislation to protect artists' rights?' Let's face it - it could be done with the amount of money that's probably changed hands in the corridors of power.

In the mean time...

All creative people that use the internet MUST take steps to protect their intellectual property. You'll find free help on the basics on RespectIP and Creativity Resources brought to you by Wolf Photography ;)

All the best

Wolf

David Eddings via Tony Jackson...

2012-01-20T12:37:00.002Z

I can't remember what happnened to prompt the action but I'll always be gratefull to Tony Jackson for lending me a set of books to read. We were serving in Northern Ireland and I guess he'd been using these books as a way to wind the mind down after a 12 hour shift when you're safety and/or survival is reliant upon being hyper vigilant. I remember Tony as a quiet bloke with a good sense of humour. I'm pretty sure he got posted out of the Province before I finishsed my tour there.

The books he leant me are collectively known as 'The Belgariad' by David Eddings. A set of 5 titles that follow the journey of an orphan named 'Garion' through the trials of childhood and beyond as he discovers himself and forms friendships with various characters along the way. It's a book full of warmth and humour as well the usual fight between good and bad but at the core is the love and devotion that began eons ago with a snowy owl and an old wolf.

The 5 books in the set are entitled:
Pawn of Prophecy
Queen of Sorcery
Magician's Gambit
Catle of Wizardry
Enchanter's End Game

They should be available at all good book stores. If you enjoy reading them, look up the set of 5 that came next, 'The Malloreon'.

If you missed out on family life when you were younger, read these books and start filling that void.

Wolf

Thoughts for 2012 ...

2012-01-09T11:45:00.000Z

It's got to be said that I don't fit into the category of 'normal'. There's not much about me that is. My work ethic is straight down the line, I'm not into materialism or power - so corruption has never interested me ... and I tend to tell the truth about things when asked.

When I look back over 2011, I see the lessons that I should have learned and the mistakes that I have repeated. One of those lessons goes against 'telling the truth when asked' - I should keep my experiences to myself. Information is a weapon and if you tell people about yourself they may either choose to use the information against you in some way and subject you to stigma or choose to break all contact with you.

There will always be those that will try to look down upon you or misconstrue what you say or do. There will always be cliques in groups ... and you may find yourself as their subject for gossip ... nothing flattering though, usually negative chat.

All I can do is continue to live the way I live and 'disassociate' more. Times have changed and groups that respected honour above all else have also allowed their standards to be lowered. There will always be those that hold to the old ways and walk an honourable path that don't redicule or belittle those who are less fortunate themselves; they are the people I would like to meet and spend time with in 2012.

I have made some good friends in 2011. Sadly they, like my other good friends, don't live nearby. I hope to have more contact with them. I am open to good experiences and a lot more travelling this year, dependent on funds. There are so many targets on my wish list ... I'll be happy if I can get to at least three of them this year.

The background work for the planning of the exhibition continues. I hope to get my feet wet in the first quarter of this year by delivering an awareness session on PTSD, possibly to families of veterans. The awareness talks will all be free. If a group would like to request a talk, please contact me. The details are on my website.

Educating people, particlarly students and veterans, about Intellectual Property (IP) - mainly 'copyright' - seems to have become a natural aim of my work. It started through writing up helpful stuff on the 'Creativity Resources' section of 'Wolf Photography' - my main site; it then seemed sensible to setup another section to enable photographers to learn a little about copyright and the tools needed to ensure that they have covered their backs with regards to model release forms etc.

I will be drawing up a contract for printers soon. This is to ensure that the printer you use respects IP law and won't abuse your art or your rights. This will be made live on the site for your use as soon as I have it finalised. I will also be drawing up lists of those that follow good practice as associated companies and those that have abused it. It will act as a guide as to who you can do business with ... but it will only be my opinion. It'll be up to you to read the guide and make up your own mind.

I have helped out various people and projects in the past with free webspace on my server. Please be aware that that will come to an end in February 2012 - simply because I will be moving my website to a different provider. You can still use the designs and graphics etc that I have provided you on your new web space but you must continue to provide a credit to 'Wolf Photography' for the free work and link to the website http://www.wolf-photography.com/.

I guess that's it for now.

All the best

Wolf

Intellectual Property ...

2011-12-23T15:01:00.001Z

One of the most crucial things that you can teach a young photographer is awareness of their Intellectual Property rights.

My daughter started photography at the age of 5. I showed her a camera, explained the basic way to take a shot and let her go free and do her own thing. I saw potential in the things she was snapping so I go her a better camera. She's 15 now and has just got her hands on a DSLR to back up the bridge camera she uses and is doing a GCSE in Photography.

She recently asked if the old website photos were still live anywhere and the answer was 'yes' but in a very bad state. She wanted to show here teacher the website. The teacher's was alleged to have said, 'That's not yours it's a professionals, it has copyright written on it.'

Dear teacher - it had copyright on it because copyright is automatically granted to someone when they create something. Something that a teacher should be aware of. What's the point of teaching someone GCSE Photography and leaving out their rights surrounding the Intellectual Property that your students have created?

So, just for teachers, students and anyone else looking to get into photography, I've setup some information pages: http://www.wolf-photography.com/html/IP-UK/respectIP.html.

Feel free to spread the word and empower yourselves.

Anyone of any age has copyright on works that they have created.

All the best

Wolf

Belluno Region, Italy ... and 'Little Fish' ...

2011-12-13T17:46:00.001Z

It was nice to get away and spend time with Alesandro, Sandra and GianLuka (AKA 'Little Fish') - their six month old son.

It was the usual combination of good company, good food, good wine and some education about the area that I was photographing.

Unfortunately the light wasn't brilliant but the scenery was still breath taking. There's something about mountains that draws me to them, particularly when covered with snow. You can see the full set of images by clicking here

The main purpose of the trip was to meet GianLuka. He was born shortly after my last visit. He's a very lively, active chap with a beautiful voice. You can check him out working his vocal chords on: http://www.facebook.com/RespectIP. I get the honorary title of 'Uncle Wolf' which is cool as they make me feel a part of their family.

Grow strong, grow well Little Fish

Uncle Wolf :)

Two sides of the coin ...

2011-12-07T21:58:00.004Z

Whenever I hear about the war efforts in various parts of the globe, the majority of images and videos show injured troops, troops under fired or dead troops coming back. It can be easy to forget something fundemental: our troops are there doing a job, for which they get paid. It's a tough job and they deserve our support ... as long as they do the job right.

I was in a support situation not long ago sitting in and listening to other veterans. One of the guys was very vocal about the 'Argies'. The british forces slang for the Argentinians. It was clear that his experiences in the Falkland Islands had scarred him and that there was much unresolved anger within his core ... but there was also some deep seated racism.

Whenever I encounter such things in a 'supportive environment' that is offering me some treatment it makes me very uneasy, especially when I consider the fact that as far as ethnic appearances go, after a photoshoot in a place like Egypt, my skin tone is the same as an Iraqi or an Afghan. To the ignorant we're all the same. It doesn't matter that I'm a veteran and served my country; they don't even like me referring to England as my country.

I'd sit and wonder how long it would be before someone had a reaction to my presence and how the organisation concerned would deal with it.

I often wondered what other ethnic groups would come under attack in that room or even if words were said about me in my absence. It underlined one of the realities of serving in Her Majesty's Armed Forces as a British Asian. 'British Asian' seems to be the most comfortable way for me to describe myself, when I look at all of the different ways that all the different organisations try to describe us. Of all the different ethnic groups it felt as if we were the least trusted by some areas of the heirarchy.

I served 2 years in Northern Ireland but I have never stepped over the line while carrying out my duties ... and even though some of the terrorists are now politicians and a major global power involved in the 'war on terror' actually funded terrorism in Northern Ireland ... I can shrug that off. My duty was to keep the peace; nothing more - nothing less. The world keeps turning. I would say that my problems were mostly due to my side not looking after me properly; bad equipment, a bad CO and possible some collusion with the local bad boys which compounded the incidents I was involved in.

There's an important element missing out of all of this though: the majority of civillians in the various conflicts had nothing to do with the various conflicts. In my experience it's always the minority causing problems. The civillains are the ones that have to live in the communities, walking the knife's edge between obeying the law and doing as they were told to by the terrorists on pain of death.

I feel that serving personnel need to have this knowledge reinforced ... and Veterans too because when I see images like this http://lens.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/12/07/in-the-midst-of-a-horrific-scene-tears/ - as a caring human, I have to ask the racists how they can't feel compassion for the innocents caught up in our battles. When I saw those images I didn't see the ethnicity of the people, I saw victims around a bomb blast, a toddler, mothers, fathers, sons and daughters ... just like the victims of a blast in Belfast while out shopping one day.

The job was to fight when the situation called for it ... but not to hate.

Hatred doesn't belong in the treatment centre ... neither does racism - especially if becomes a barrier as to why a veteran from a different ethnic group can't access treatment there, even though the 'Argie' may have shot and killed the other veteran's friend. The Argentinians were soldiers too. Many of them young conscripts. The anger belongs at the door of the politicans that start wars. The rest of us are collatoral damage.

Wolf

Are you a 'Geek'?

2011-11-15T18:55:00.004Z

I am ... have been for years. There was a time when the term 'geek' was considered derogotary but I don't think it applies to the current age and words like 'nerd' seem to be afflicted on those poor souls.

To be a geek you HAVE to be passionate about something and you have to want to do whatever it is to the best of your ability, always striving for excellence, within the realities of your physical and mental strengths.

I think the first thing that I was geeky about was military aircraft back when I was at school. The next would be computers and all things computer associated - although I feel that one has gone now and doesn't qualify anymore as computers are too mainstream. They're everywhere now!

The same can be said of my third bit of geekyness: photography - in this era everyone's a photographer! I can hold onto it as a wildlife photographer I guess - simply because not many wildlife photographers (when taken as a whole) would spend hours and hours in a cold hide waiting for a glimpse of a potential target (which is often the case when I'm sat in my portable hide somewhere with a tiny hole in the soil for a piss-pot and a packet of sandwhiches with a bottle of water to last me the day).

I'm geeky about practising Shotokan too. It's come to regulate my routine for three days a week now, providing exercise, discipline and another way of coping with PTSD. I really missed it in those years that I couldn't train after the road accident; especially those times when a KUGB event would be on the box and you'd see Sensei Enoeda kicking off the proceeding (quite literally) with a demonstration against assailants. Sadly, my body has too many injuries now to do as well as I could before the road accident in 1995 and I know that I will have to train less often. I need to push myself just now though and train through the pain. The last training session was so bad that I had to stop during the warm up a few times. I've had my monthly accupuncture today though - so fingers crossed! If you suffer from PTSD - give Shotokan Karate a go. You can find a local club from the link on the KUGB website - the direct link is here.

According to Wikipedia:

In a 2007 interview on The Colbert Report, Richard Clarke said the difference between nerds and geeks is "geeks get it done."
Other definitions include:

A person who has chosen concentration rather than conformity; one who passionately pursues skill (especially technical skill) and imagination, not mainstream social acceptance.

A person with a devotion to something in a way that places him or her outside the mainstream. This could be due to the intensity, depth, or subject of their interest.

The main thing that I have found though is that 'geeks' are sound people. I haven't met a bad one on my journey yet. It's good to be passionate about something ... embrace your 'geekiness' and strive for perfection! Be an individual ... within the laws of your country ... but don't be too mainstream - explore avenues for yourself.

As the 11th day of the 11th month and the 11th hour approaches ...

2011-11-10T19:09:00.003Z

... my thoughts turn to the men and women that I've served with and met since as Veterans. People from varying backgrounds that had performed a wide range of tasks, everyone one of them an integral part of a big machine, carrying out their duties and responsibilities - sometimes in extremely difficult situations.

There was so much media hype last year about Veterans and the lack of thanks that they get for 'services rendered'. It fizzled away as we all knew it would to be replaced by the usual curtain of indifference, apathy and ignorance of the plight of some of these men and women that can't fit back into civillian life ... but who can never go back to military life. Amongst the most misunderstood are those afflicted with Post Taumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

The press and other forms of media tend to sensationalise things and draw on the extreme for their articles and documentaries, the downside of which is that everyone with PTSD ends up stereo-typed as the person depicted in the aricle being viewed or read. When one considers the social stigma still connected with the term 'mental health' and the ingredient of PTSD is added into the pot, what's stirred up and served is a discriminatory barrier that affects every aspect of the afflicted person's life; jobs, family, friendships, intimate relationships, medical care and just about every other area of human interaction that you can think of.

The result of this distancing and misunderstanding results in isolation. Isolation isn't good for anyone and I draw a distinction between those that prefer solitude. Solitude is sought where as isolation, in my mind, is something that is put upon someone without giving them a say in the situation. In this scenario the isolation that results from sensationalism is something associated with fear. Fear of the unknown.

If you're in a relationship or a friendship with a Veteran, and they have a bad episode with their PTSD, the chances are that you will already know that giving them their space is the best thing to do. Never push them emotionally or threaten them with violence. Talk calmly and respectfully and walk away ... without closing the door on them. Let them know that you're still there for them and give them their space. They'll come back and talk to you when they can - if they want to ... it might be in an hour, a day, a month, a year or longer. It will depend on the severity of the their reaction to what happened ... and on the context of your interaction with them.

The world of the military is 'Black & White', most Veterans with PTSD live the same way. It's the only way they know how to be, the only way they can cope. The 'Grey' that exists in civillian worlds isn't understood or respected. Mind games are never tolerated, direct and open communication are valued. If you remember these simple rules, you hopefully won't have a problem if you're ever in a situation with anyone afflicted by PTSD. If you find yourself in an unpleasant situation, leave 'gently' and allow things to calm down before returning to them.

If you work for a company or organisation, remember that Veterans may not be perfect, but when 'debriefing' yourself about an incident involving a Veteran or any person suffering with PTSD (or any other health condition), ask yourself what you could have done differently to avoid an inflamed situation? One key reason for problems will be organisations or companies acting either dishonourably or unprofessionally. Listening but failing to 'hear' the message and take appropriate action comes under the heading of 'unprofessional'.

Military personnel are professionals when at work. They can operate under extreme circumstances. They will recognise inappropriate or unfair behaviour in your organisation if subjected to it. If your company does something unfair towards such a person, the chances are that there will be a reaction from the Veteran. The counter reaction of the average company operative is to terminate the phone call or withdraw in person when a situation turns ugly. This will serve to trigger the worst symptoms of PTSD in any individual and then consequence could be dire. By default, all companies and organisations should be polite, helpful and respectful of the needs of ALL their customers or users.

Spare a thought for your Veterans. Most of them aren't 'war mongers', they did a difficult job and some of them served in arenas where your safety was threatened. Above all remember that troops go where they are ordered ... military service doesn't operate on democracy. Remember also that many of them may be 'home' but are lost and adrift, still trying to make sense of their experiences.

I'd like to convey my thanks and respect to those of you that are or have provided care and support for Veterans over the years and have looked beyond the stereo-type; especially towards those that are our friends, relatives or partners. You're a very important part of our lives.

Thanks for taking the time to read this article.

Villayat 'Wolf' Sunkmanitu

Progress on website - www.wolf-photography.com

2011-11-09T00:32:00.000Z

I've been finding images from trips that haven't been processed and catalogued onto the site yet - including Guacco Heron, Pied Kingfishers and Egrets from Egypt.

Other albums are being added and updated too. Once all the new images have been added, more background work will start to make sure that any relevant keywords have been added to different images (eg mountains, trees etc) in order to help people narrow their search requirements.

On the minus side I took a hard hit on the eye while training last week that has loosened up some fluid in the rear of my eye and caused floaters and flashes of light to appear. Luckily there wasn't a retinal tear but it has to be monitored now as there's no cure for this and I have to be vigilant over symptoms. I've not been out with the cameras since the incident occured, so I'm a little anxious as to how it will affect my camera work. Let's hope some good light comes into play tomorrow so I can find out.

I'm getting itchy feet re some photography too - time for a trip somewhere!

All the best

Wolf

Mammoth task ...

2011-10-24T22:51:00.000+01:00

I've been re-writing the website over the last 2 weeks. The changes were necessary in order to protect my Intellectual Property on my website and to work towards making my images more 'searchable' via Google etc. I'm having problems locating a simple java/html search engine to use on my site for the specific purpose of making all of my images searchable. If anyone knows of a good 'freeware' or a reasonably cheap program, please drop me a message.

The maintenance image warning of ongoing work has been removed and the site should be fully operational again. Please do report any dead links or missing images?

The work's taken my mind off my injuries and allowed me to rest my body for a little while. Unfortunately, the pain's been getting worse in the newer injury areas. I'm having serious concerns about the grading that I'm working towards in December - will my body be able to move properly and do what's required? There's only one way to find out.

On the plus side, I've seen more of the kingfishers and am looking at ways of getting specific types of action shots. While tolerant of the hide, kingfishers are still wary of humans and it's a time consuming process that makes use of more than my allocated share of luck; so it's good when other photographers are there for the same thing - perhaps our accumulated luck will give us what we desire.

Have a pleasant evening.

Wolf

Cold day...

2011-10-20T01:25:00.000+01:00

The temprature's definitely been more like autumn or even mild winter today.

I spent my time between watching and photographing fallow deer at Wollaton and Kingfishers. It was agony though as the accupuncture makes the pain worse before settling it to a managable level.

I was watching 'One Eye' fight another stag. They walked around together, side by side, but every now and then one of them would initiate an attack. The antlers of a Fallow Deer can be just as deadly as a Red Deer when you watch how they use them. After the fight they simply walked back to the herd together and One Eye carried on bellowing at the other deer and keeping the stags away from his harem.

I had 5 sightings of the Kingfisher today but it didn't settle long enough for me to get a shot. Fingers crossed for next time.

I've spent the evening plugged into a TENS machine which helps a lot. I must remember to take some hand warming pads out if I head out tomorrow. I'm hoping to be able to train at the dojo on Friday.

Bon nuit,

Wolf

Fighting on...

2011-10-18T22:33:00.000+01:00

I had my accupuncture today ... and not before time. The pain's been off the scale this week. I saw my pain consultant today as well and I'm being encouraged to stop practising Karate. I can't though. Have you ever done something in your life that feels 'right'? You click with it? That's how I've always felt about Karate. I wish I'd been able to afford to grade etc when much younger.

I'm at the stage where I was in 1995, Getting ready for a 1st dan grading. Except then I was hit by a stolen motor vehicle that found me in it's path on the other side of a hump backed bridge. I was waiting for traffic to clear. An elderly couple were slowly getting out of a taxi. My son was dozing in the back in his baby chair. He was about 8 or 9 months old at the time I think. He may have been older.

I was on my way to pick up my ex partner from work. The taxi hadn't parked properly so oncoming traffic couldn't clear the spot either. My steering lock was on full lock to the right and I was waiting for a gap to escape in.

The next second my mind registered that moment that says something dangerous is about to happen and I saw a flash of light in the rear view mirror and a split second later my ears were tinkling with that odd cacophony of twisting metal and breaking glass. My car was an old Ford Escort mark 2 with no head rest. I was later told that my fitness through karate was what saved my life as the whiplash was severe, so severe that it still affects me now, 11 years later.

I remember getting out of my car and the red mist descending over my vision. I ripped open the driver's door as he was trying to make his getaway and grabbed him by his throat and started to lift him out of the vehicle. He floored the accelerater and my grip on him was broken as he sped away. I don't remember seeing his face ... I just remember feeling, 'you could have killed my baby boy'.

My car was badly smashed up but I chased him for 2 or 3 blocks before my son's cries got through the red haze and I seemed to be coming out of the mist. Then the pain hit me. It started around my neck and then radiated down both arms and it was severe. I started shaking owing to the seveity of it and the onset of shock. I saw a telephone box and stopped by it and called for a police unit and an ambulance and then set to calming my son down. Those baby seats are brilliant; Joshua was fine, just shaken up. I couldn't lift him though as I now couldn't move my fingers or my hands and all I could do was talk to Josh, my arms limp by my sides and the most severe pain was ringing my neck.

The ambulance arrived first and strapped me down to a stretcher to immobilise my neck as they feared any movement could have serious consequences at this point. Josh started crying again and the medics couldn't calm him. I told the medic to put him on my chest which he reluctantly did ... and Josh calmed down straight away. My boy was safe and I was grateful. We blue lighted it to the hospital, where they examined me, kept me in for a few hours and then released me with some heavy painkillers and a soft collar for my neck.

For the next few days I couldn't grip anything to dress myself and the pain killers were pretty useless. I was Josh's primary carer in those days, around my part time job with Kingswood Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB). I was their tribunal case worker and my workload was always a heavy one.

I remember going back to work ASAP and swallowing the pain and trying my best to ignore the discomfort it caused. The armed forces attitude of 'go'til you drop' got me through it. Incidentally, it was owing to the difficulties caused by this road accident that a very switched on GP interviewed me and referred me to the appropriate mental health team. After some probing they told me that I had been suffering with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) since serving in Northern Ireland between 1983-1985. This was a moment of enlightenment regarding an earlier chapter of my life and the missing pieces of the jigsaw about my past clicked together for the first tiem in over a decade. The MoD had never conducted a discharge medical on me, even though my Sergeant was aware of ertain difficulties I was experiencing close to my time of leaving.

I don't think it was all that long before I went back to Sensei Ed Stark's Dojo in Bristol. The problem was that every punch and kick I did felt like it was re-tearing the injury. I was told that I had a severe soft tissue trauma of the neck. I kept trying to train but the pain was too much and I felt I was going one step forward and two steps back at all times. I had no option bu to stop training. It wasn't long before I moved back to Cornwall again. A job came up as Manager of Truro CAB and I went for it and took the post.

I went back to train at the Newquay KUGB dojo that I had done all my gradings with until 1992 or 1993. We'd gone up to Plymouth to be graded by Sensei Otah every 3 months and then 6 months for the 1st kyu grading. Unfortunately my body was still generating too much pain and I couldn't do any consistent training, as the pain was too much and it kept ripping open the old wounds.

My pain consultant asked me about the Karate today, and why I wouldn't consider doing something like Tai Chi instead. I told her that I need this one battle. If I can get my 1st dan, I can slow down the training after to a more realistic level for my injuries ... but between now and December I have to be resigned to maximum pain. Unfortunately, the pain got so severe on Sunday that it stopped my 'flow' with a kata as the pain was making me tense way too much on some moves and I ended up in a downward spiral.

The grading is a battle within - it's as if I'm saying something to the Road Accident - maybe I'm making a statement to myself. I'm not as sharp as I was in those earlier years - I'm older, still in a lot of pain and my short term memory's been severely affected by the PTSD. I don't know even know if I'll be able to do the grading if there's a break between segments as the pain gets a lot worse if there's a break or a lot of pauses between movement. My body starts to lock up and stiffens really quickly ... to the point that I can hardly walk without a high degree of pain. But I don't show it if possible ... Veterans' pride; we walk tall and whenever we can ... and some of us have faced worse things.

I have had to accept something today though: I can't keep pushing my body to this level. It stops me doing my therapeutic work ... which is what I live for as it helps me to cope with the PTSD which is my main disability. I also have to retain some degree of mobility to be able to interact with my children and I don't want to end up in a wheelchair being a burden to them. So I know that I may never be able to do another grading again after this one. I'll try my hardest though and will see what happens in December.

I suppose I'd better get on with some work ...

Have a pleasant evening.

Wolf

Confusion reigns...

2011-10-14T10:44:00.003+01:00

Do you ever get one of those days where there's so much going on in your head that you end up on a full stop?

All the old skills of prioritising the workload, taking frequent breaks, taking a break to walk into the garden or to do a few sit ups, none of them seem to help today and the brain feels 'sluggish'. Maybe I need a lettuce leaf or something.

The website rebuild is truly a numbing task. I'm halfway through the process of rebuilding all the image albums. I've had to change all of the image names, redo the keywords and make the new titles 'searchable' because I want to place a search engine on my site that will help visitors locate specific images as well as catering for the visitors that are happy to spend time browsing my site (http://www.wolf-photography.com/).

I also setup a limited company to protect the company name and am working on other areas to protect the business name. If my son or daughter decide to take over the business in the future, I want the structure to be correct and protected for them. The limited company will be dormant and I'll continue operaing as a sole trader unless things do actually pick up one day. It would nice to be able to break even at the end of every financial year ... but that hasn't happened to date. I remind myself that art and profit don't always go hand in hand and that I'm grateful if I can earn enough to keep working.

A legal issue from my past that needs to be addressed is to the fore but the way forward for me to get satisfaction and closure is cluttered with red tape. The implications are a constant drain on my soul but it's something that I can't let go of. Sometimes something can happen that goes beyong 'wrong' or 'unjust' and needs tackling.

Work is moving slowly on the exhibition front. I've gotten behind as I had to rebuild my PC and then reinstall all the programs I use, as well as retrieving my data from backup sources. It's all here and working now.

Karate is moving along at a reasonable pace. I'm not sure whether I'm improving as the existing injuries are getting worse and I seem to be picking up new ones every now and then. There are times when I can feel the old flow and times when everything locks up and I can't move my body because the muscle memory is pulling my body one way and the mind is telling it to do something else. I do my best though and my Sensei's aware of my difficulties and doesn't make me feel inadequate in anyway as a result of my disabilities. It was good to hear some of the club members talking about ethos, honour and responsibility as we sat around a table supping on blackcurrant and sodas. The 'Dojo Code' lives within them. It takes me back to the first dojo I ever trained in. I think it was at Humberstone Gate, in Leicester. The whole class would say the Dojo Code out loud before the class started. I'd attend in my ATC uniform, change into a t-shirt and jogging pants and train at the session before heading off to a cadet session with 51 Squadron of the Air Training Corps (I was preparing to join the Royal Air Force). I couldn't afford a 'gi' (karate suit) in those days and used to use my work money to pay for karate lessons and other bits and bobs. I couldn't afford the licence or grading fees either. It was good of the Sensei to let me train there.

The memories come flooding back: Going to school early to tidy up the classroom - which also doubled as our chess club, going to work in the chip shop straight after for 50p an hour and then going home to do my homework before finally heading to bed for about 2am. I realised my dream though and escaped an abusive home environment on 11 March 1981, the day I set off for basic training at RAF Swinderby.

I am grateful though: I have a home, I have clean water and food ... and I can still continue to do my creativity. Spare a thought for those that have none of the above.

I need a break - somewhere with clean air and near mountains.

Onward and upward - I hope your day is a good one.

Wolf

Dreamshots of Kingfishers ...

2011-10-01T23:55:00.003+01:00

Imagine the scene: a high pitched tweet a blur of blue and orange and it's gone! That's all most people get to see of kingfishers as they fly off on the hunt for small fish.

I was very fortunate the other day. I was in a place that I'd been using since spring to try and photograph these amazing hunters. Yesterday it paid off!

I met a fellow photographer in the morning who told me that he'd got some good shots of a kingfisher in the morning. I met him about 10:30am. Four hours later I was blessed with this site:

I was lucky enough to watch this lovely creature catch a fish, kill it and then eat it. The full sequence is on http://www.wolf-photography.com/albums/Wolf%20Photography%20-%20Nature%20-%20Kingfishers/index.html. The first two images are of a kingfisher in Cornwall. The rest are from the other day.

I still haven't gotten over the shots myself. Everytime I load them up they make me smile from deep within.

Enjoy!

Wolf

Get ready for winter...

2011-09-20T22:36:00.000+01:00

It's looking like it's going to be another bad winter. The indications are there already: many wild garden birds are on their second or third clutches and the berries are looking bigger and brighter. I guess there's another sign that I'll be watching for - the colouring of the autumn leaves. If you get really lovely colours in autumn leaves, it's another sign of a harsh winter to come.

Here are some things that we can do:

Put wood chipping over your plants - especially if all your plants are in pots like mine.
Put the more vulnerable species of plants against the walls of your house and bubble wrap the pots.
Leave piles of logs and some clay pots covered with fallen leaves for frogs, toads and newts to hide in.
Put up a bat box if you've seen bats flying in your area at night.
Make a hedgehog shelter if you've seen them frequent your garden.
Leave places for insects to hide - more log piles etc.
Leave plenty of water out for garden birds (thirst during winter is one of the biggest killers of garden birds).
Put up your bird feeding stations and think about what they need to get through winter.

As for the foods they like, this is my list just through observing the different species in my garden:

General bird seed: sparrows
Nyjer seed: greenfinch, goldfinch
Black sunflower seeds: sparrows, bullfinch, great tit, coal tit, blue tit
Fat balls: sparrows, blue tits, long tailed tits
Suet pellets: robins, sparrows
Mealworm: robins, sparrows, starlings
Peanuts: great tit, coal tit, blue tit, great spotted woodpecker, grey squirrel
Bread: black birds, thrush, crows, wood pigeon, collared doves, magpies
Baby slugs: frogs and toads
Wood chippings will allow insect to survive as well which will feed some of the above.

As for me, autumn's the time I contemplate the last year and ponder the lessons learned, as well as the changes that I want to make ... that I can make. Winter's the time when I plant the seeds of those changes for the year to come ... while withdrawing more into the den of the wolf.

Feel free to add your own observations re animal info and what they eat etc.

All the best

Wolf

Protecting your Intellectual Property Rights on Facebook...

2011-09-11T11:06:00.002+01:00

Do you use Facebook? Do you upload photographs and videos on the site? Did you know that by doing so you are granting them a licence to use your images and videos commercially not just for themselves but to any other commercial company worldwide? This means that they could be selling your images on and violating your rights under the Human Rights Act.

If you want your images protected and your copyright respected ... click the 'Like' button on http://www.facebook.com/RespectIP.

Everyone has copyright, not just professionals. You have automatic rights of copyright assigned to certain things that you create.

Protect your images and videos and join the cause. All you have to do is click 'Like' on the page above ... simple.

Thanks

Wolf

Using martial arts to control PTSD ...

2011-09-10T22:46:00.002+01:00

It can play havoc with my physical injuries but there's no denying that training in a good 'Dojo' that operates within the structure of a national organisation helps me to cope with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I train with Sensei Rob Manning at the South Notts Shotokan Karate Club which operates under the umbrella of the Karate Union of Great Britain (KUGB).

One of the problems with PTSD is that the body sometimes reacts before the mind has had time to analyse the situation. To give you an example, a friend was once play fighting with me and without my consent. I said that I didn't want to but he didn't listen. After the second strike to my body I stopped him in his tracks with a throat strike. I didn't want to do it, I hadn't planned to do it ... my body reacted independently with a light throat strike that stopped him in his tracks. I'm sure there are experts out there that will argue that your body can't act without thought. I have a question for them - do you consciously instruct your sphincter to open when you're having a dump or is it a function that the body just does? It's the same with self defence - the moves become embedded deep within you.

Every now and then I meet a civillian that doesn't know anything about me and chooses to taunt me or to threaten me. My biggest fear is hurting someone through an automatic reaction. As veterans we're used to reacting without thought. I guess that was part of the conditioning at basic training.

I've been training with the KUGB since 1991. I took a long break owing to a serious road accident. The injuries are still with me and cause problems when I train but it's worth the pain because of the way that it helps me have a 'safety catch' over the PTSD 'triggers' that I live with. The main reason for this is the spiritual side of Karate and the associated culture:

DOJO CODE

Character
Exert oneself in the perfection of character

Sincerity
Be faithful and sincere

Effort
Cultivate the spirit of perseverance

Etiquette
Be respectful and courteous

Self-Control
Refrain from impetuous and violent behaviour

You may find difficulties with regards to short term memory problems or perhaps your body will lock because your reflex action is to do one thing while your mind wants you to do something else ... but it's worth perservering.

If you live with PTSD, irrespective of whether or not you're a veteran, give Karate a go ... it can help you in a number of ways. It helps me.

Wolf

Bird Feeding issues with squirrels in the garden ...

2011-09-07T15:07:00.003+01:00

The season's changing and autumn approaches. A young photographer expressed his frustration at squirrels getting to the bird food on his feeders and asked for advice on how to deter them. This might be relevant to you ... anyway, it made for a light moment as well as relelvant advice:

"I have the same problem. I got around it by using a metal bird feeding station and caged feeders. I also created a square patch under the feeders and filled it with soil so that the dropped seeds can be picked up by other birds (no cementing necessary - just push a few breeze blocks together and put the soil in. It should look lovely with sunflowers in the summer).

Re the feeders - you can try these:

http://www.streetendfeeds.co.uk/productdetails.asp?id=359 for peanuts (I hammer my nuts to make it easier for the birds to get at them) (no double entendre intended here! Plus I wouldn't refer to women as birds and I don't want to hear about a young man at Casualty/ER with a hammer and bruised body parts!).

http://www.streetendfeeds.co.uk/productdetails.asp?id=421 for other seeds including sunflower seeds.

For fatballs - I found a similar cage but put a thinner container inside it to stop the squirrel getting to the fat balls in case they transfer anything harmfull through their saliva when eating.

The squirrels leave my feeders alone now."

Good luck ;)

Wolf

Democracy in action - NOT!

2011-09-02T16:18:00.003+01:00

Artists who rely on copyright were given an opportunity to submit evidence to the UK Business, Innovation and Skills Committee which will begins its review of Hargreaves Report.

Hargreave's recommendations completely ignored moral rights as assigned to artists by 2 different forms of Human Rights Legislation:

It is right that my work should be protected by the law. United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights Article 27 (2) states:

'Everyone has the right to the protection of the moral and material interests resulting from any scientific, literary

or artistic production of which he is the author.' Please click here for more information on this subject http://www.stop43.org.uk/pages/news_and_resources_files/9f95e713e47225fa4d19f9a80ee738a2-107.php

It follows that any proposed legislation to enable the commercial use of orphan works or the extended collective licensing of copyright works, which is intended to result in a copyright holder in practice being 'deprived of his possessions' without his knowledge or consent (which Mr. Justice Arnold has judged to be the consequence for rightsholders of piracy of their copyright work) would breach Article 1 of the First Protocol of the Human Rights Act 1998.

Interestingly the Human Rights Act 1998 restrains the Government from introducing legislation that is not compliant with human rights legislation, and indeed reading Section 6 it may be unlawful for civil servants even to draw up such legislation. When asked at a pre-consultation meeting on 23rd August 2011 attended by Stop43, among others, Matt Cope of the Intellectual Property Office confirmed that new UK legislation must be compliant with the Human Rights Act 1998.

Here's the sting in the tail: having spent the last few days networking with colleagues in the Artists Bill of Rights, http://the1709blog.blogspot.com/, http://www.creatorsrights.org.uk/, http://www.stop43.org.uk/ and the NUJ, The Arts Council, the Disability Alliance, The Art House, Embrace Arts and more - we find ourselves in a rediculous situation - the mailbox at biscom@parliament.uk where the submissions need to go is FULL!

The cynical amongst us may feel that this has been a purposeful act. I can't comment. If you have taken the trouble to do a submission - PLEASE send it in by recorded delivery post guaranteed arrival for Monday, to:

Committee Assistant

Business, Innovation and Skills Committee
Committee Office
House of Commons
7 Millbank
London
SW1P 3JA

In the meantime, colleagues are working on getting Parliamentary staff to address the email issue.

All the best

Wolf

Time for all artists to get invloved in the Government Review of Hargreave's Copyright Proposals

2011-08-31T12:23:00.005+01:00

The UK government committee is about to review Hargreaves copyright proposals. The select committee is populated by MP's who appear to have little knowledge or interest in the world of online business, orphan works, copyright clearance etc. If you care about the issues as artists, please write to these MP's to educate them ASAP.

Your submission can be sent by email and doesn't have to be a huge document, in fact short, relevant submissions are better. We have until Monday 5 September to make written submissions to the UK Business, Innovation and Skills Committee which will begins its review of Hargreaves recommendations and the government's plans to implement them.

If Hargreaves is implemented this is how the UK landscape will look to artists -

•The moral rights of authors will still not be automatically granted as in other EU countries.
•Moral rights will still not be made unwaivable as in other EU countries.
•There will still be no sanctions for the removal of digital copyright information from digital works.
•Orphan works will be used for commercial purposes.
•That remedies for unauthorised use will be restricted for those who have not registered their works.
•Creators are not given a level playing field with industry in contract and other matters.
•Artists rights will still not be recognised as human rights.

The implications are just as dire for all artists using any form of digital storage for their art (eg writers, photographers, musicians etc).

The above could be the synopsis of a horror story, we should fight to prevent this. We have published a simple step by step guide to making a submission to this committee at http://bit.ly/qKN8Fq

I know this is a pain, but it is important, and we have made it as easy as possible for you short of writing the submission for you. It has to be in your own words, but we have given you all the info you need to do this.

Remember, the last day for submission to the UK committee is close of business on Monday 5th of September 2011, you have time to do this, your help is needed, and from all your creative colleagues.

Regards

Wolf

Online PC Doctor Scam

2011-08-25T23:17:00.004+01:00

Had a phone call like the one on this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOn0vW5814g from a company calling themselves 'Virtual PC Doctor' from India? DO NOT engage them in any dialogue, DON'T give them your credit card details. DO NOT under any circumstances allow them to remotely connect to your computer. They will try to trick you into doing this by getting you to check a system report that will show errors. Those errors have always been on your system and it works fine, so don't be reeled in by this.

DO NOT go to a website that is http://ww w.support.me/.

DO make a note of their name, telephone number, confirm their company name, try to find out how they got your phone number. Ring your internet service provider (ISP), register the matter as a 'scam' and ask your ISP to investigate the matter.

If you feel that you have been taken advantage of and have given the company any of your personal details - especially credit/debit cards - you must contact your bank or building society straight away and cancel your current cards and request replacements. You may also want to contact your local police force and lodge a complaint with them.

Please tell your friends and family about this scam straight away!

Be safe,

Wolf

British politics through the eyes of a Veteran ...

2011-08-20T14:07:00.001+01:00

I see a lot of pain nowadays, physical, emotional, spiritual. It multiplies with the number of humans that come onto the planet. Events like the recent riots in England add to the cyclone of negative energy that can affect lives in ways so deep that sometimes the fight back to something that some people would term as 'normal' simply isn't possible. That doesn't stop people trying though.

But what is 'normal'? Does it actually exist? Isn't it a subjective analysis based on our own attitudes, values and frames of reference which are an amalgamation of our own life experiences? I smile when I see people use the word 'normal' because in the area of human life experience it doesn't exist. There are too many variations and at an age when we should be celebrating diversity and exercising tolerance, many people still seek solace in division and xenophobia. The Romans ruled through the policy of 'divide and conquer' and our governments still use the same policy. While we're divided on our expectations of society, nobody wins, progress is slowed down to a crawl and we keep repeating old patterns as the pendulum of power swings back and forth from one extreme to the other which is wasteful and non-progressive as we trudge along entrenched in the wheel tracks of our former mistakes...rather than coming together and examining our mistakes, learning from them and moving forward in an energy of mutual respect, awareness and tolerance.

The same pendulum that gave so many rights to children over and above those needed to stop abuse by failing to differentiate between abuse and discipline, broke down family units, gave us rioters and brought heart ache to local communities. One can understand the calls asking for 'National Service' to be reintroduced to provide some discipline into our youth accross the board.

This is the second time that the tories have been in power in my lifetime that I know of. I remember seeing the riots, education, social and medical care cuts, the loss of many industries, the privatisation of national services and nation of inventors and industrialists were brought to their collective knees. The unions were rendered less affective and, I feel, never recovered and traded sides; more and more of their membership suffering because political decisions were made on some cases rather than fighting on moral and legal grounds.

Politics became more deadly than the sword as those too weak to do their own fighting relied on the greed of others to supply fighters, either through the promise of wealth or ideology. As technology advanced, it became easier to start wars, sacrifice our youth and hide behind lies in the halls of power, safe in the knowledge that contacts in positions of influence would save you should anything untoward happen.

And we're still doing it. Some western powers in fear of not being able to supply natural resources to sustain the current habits of its populace with regard to the consumption of gas and oil have, I feel, created scenarios and manipulated events to further their goals: the acquisition of more natural resources and the maintenance of a global intelligence service. If it was a global intelligence network for the greater good, I wouldn't have a problem with it ... but everything in this day and age is materially driven whe it comes to war, otherwise we'd have combatants in war torn countries of Africa instead of UN 'observers'.

Enter the common man or woman in uniform. Some chose the life as a vocation, some through the love of violence and others for whom being an honourable peace-keeper in defence of their own realm or the protection of people under their duties as members of the United Nations...but all of whom are subject to misuse by politicans, some returning with emotional and/or physical scars.

Can you imagine how some of them feel as they return home to be ridiculed, ostracised and discriminated against? Some are labelled as lovers of violence when they've never hurt anyone during their service, others are considered 'blinkered' in their views because they chose to don the uniform. Others will be stereo-typed because they have the same ethnic appearance as the 'enemy'. The most common thing that a veteran will feel if left unsupported, is betrayal. You don't have to be a veteran to understand how that feels, it happens in families, relationships, work and business all the time. The difference is that the veteran, by signing on the dotted line said, 'I understand that I may have to pay the ultimate price while wearing this uniform...that I may lose my life...and I am ready to do so'. Doesn't that same system have a duty to care for the people that survive but end up in difficult circumstances as a result of their service? The system could argue that it does provide adequate care and support. My experience suggests otherwise.

What's the average age of our people in conflict situations? I don't know nowadays but in my day it was 19. We're still developing as children at 19. Some cultures say that a male isn't regarded as a man until he reaches 40. When I look back over the experience that I've accumulated over my life time, I agree with that sentiment. Our societies create a lot of smoke screens and the majority of people don't have the ability or the inclination to seek the truth of the matter. Ignorance can be bliss. Our politcal rug has had so much dirt swept underneath it that it resembles a huge hill.

How do we move forward from such a situation? The first stage has to be for the populace to make democracy an effective tool rather than a toy given to the masses to pacify them. The next thing that has to go is 'one party government'. How can we have a governement that represents our people as a collective if they're only providing policies and services that only serve a fraction of the populace?

If you look back over the last three decades or so there has been a pattern in british policies: Labour build up core services until there's a recession pending and the Conservatives then come in and reduce the nation's expenditure making brutal cuts until it's time to hand over the reigns again.

How would british politics look if we had 'proprtional representation'? Would such a government be able to take a holistic over view of any situation affecting the nation and so govern more carefully and wisely rather than have a blinkered approach dictated by a single manifesto?

Would it mean less avoidable deaths of armed forces personnel or perhaps the sanctioning of force where it's actually needed to protect people?

Greed and materialism sustained by corruption and fear are at the heart of the nation's problem. You only have to look at the events of the last few years to see how many people in positions of power have abused their roles.

My feeling is that, like councillors, MPs shouldn't be paid. They should get an honorarium and their travelling expenses. It should be an honour to serve your country as a politician, not a means to feather your own nest. I realise that there are some 'honest' politicians out there in different walks of life but experience suggests that they're in a minority.

Have a good Saturday...

Wolf

Discount period ends soon...

2011-08-17T17:37:00.004+01:00

I'm offering discounts on all my products to people and organisations that have clicked 'Like' on http://www.facebook.com/Wolf.Photographer.

Full details of the plan are on: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=231443733564594. It's my way of saying 'thank you' for supporting me.

The discount period ends on 18 Aug 2011 at 23:30 hrs GMT.

Please drop me a message here or on Facebook if you have any questions.

Regards

Wolf

Discounts for Facebook users...

2011-08-11T09:12:00.001+01:00

As a thank you to those of you that continue to support my work, there will be periodic discounts on books and prints for those of you that have clicked 'Like' on http://www.facebook.com/Wolf.Photographer on Facebook.

How it will work:

The discount periods will last 1 week and be publicised as an 'Event'. Simply send me an email at: wolf (at) wolf-photography.com and tell me what you want to buy, having located the image on http://www.wolf-photography.com/. You'll need to tell me the name of the album and the image if it's a print. If it's a copy of my book - Words of a Wolf, just state whether you're a UK or Worldwide customer. Please state that you've clicked 'Like' there and the order will be processed through Paypal when you're verified on the 'Like' list.

Once we've confirmed what you'd like to buy, I'll generate a Paypal money request. The same terms and conditions apply to these sales. Once an order has been placed, it can't be cancelled as third party companies are involved. By placing an order, you agree to the terms and conditions of business on: http://www.wolf-photography.com/html/terms.html.

For discount prices and full details, please go to: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=231443733564594.

The first 'discount event' is live now: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=258667000828570

Many thanks

Villayat 'Wolf' Sunkmanitu

Tailoring Facebook to my needs...

2011-08-09T01:00:00.001+01:00

It's been an interesting view days of testing out new coding and trying to find an effective way of using Facebook (FB) to it's fullest potential on my website. Originally I had FB pages for my book and my photography as two sepeate interests. I have since amalgamted both pages and have just one FB page now: http://www.facebook.com/Wolf.Photographer. So please come and support me by hitting the 'Like' button and become a 'follower' of this blog too.

I've used the coding to create a stream on my website to keep visitors up to date with events, images and thoughts. I'm very pleased with the way that it looks. This isn't a replacement for the blog as the updates are limited in terms of numbers of characters allowed. The 'full article', if there is one, will still be on the blog. Thanks Facebook!

Time to get some shut eye...

Goodnight,

Wolf

Royal Photographic Society (RPS) closes forum discussion at the mention of racism and WW2...

2011-08-04T18:02:00.000+01:00

As part of the discussion on an RPS thread on the issue surrounding Intellectual Property, I made the following response to address the comments, "We can't turn the tide", "The world has changed and we can do nothing about it" & "Images are readily available".

That kind of attitude would have lost us WWII, would never have addressed racism in this country through the 'Race Relations Ammendment Act' and would allow countless other forms of morally wrong actions to still be done without some recourse. It is also a very narrow view in that considering images only is ignoring the abuses that are foisted on other creative disciplines, such as musicians and writers. Campaigning for ethical, moral, and legal principles is always right, no matter how tough the task. Once you stop doing that the rule of law breaks down and dishonourable behaviour is given free scope. Associations representing creative people should be doing their utmost to protect their members 'Intellectual Property' rights.

The paragraph was demonstrating that sometimes we know that the battle for change is an uphill struggle ... but we have to get on with it and do what needs to be done to facilitate the change and restore a degree of morality to a practise that is damaging the world of the artist.

I was quite alarmed to read the following responses:

"Undoubtedly - but I would be very careful about comments like this - not everyone agrees that there are ethical / moral / legal issues at stake here, so either you are lumping those people with Nazis / racists etc. (which is very dodgy ground!) or you have to accept that not everyone has the same view and therefore you can not claim an absolute ethical / moral / legal position..."

and

Wolf there is no censorship involved here, the last thread you raised on this topic was closed by me as the argument had gone round in circles at least twice and no new information was forthcoming.

I will remind you however, that incorporating comments on World War II and racism is inappropriately emotive in this context, and any further use of similar language in a post will result in that post being pulled. You are obviously very passionate about this subject, but please keep your comments within bounds.

and last but not least:

It's good that you have taken the time to express yourself on the forum and your issues have indeed been noted and will be passed on to the council.

However, I don't think that ****** has acted out of hand in his comments. He has replied to your comment from his own perspective as a photographer and has only switched to "Moderator Mode" when you started bringing WWII and racisim into the thread (Ed - which is chronologically incorrect when one examines the thread). Which I have to agree is going too far on a photography forum.

I have to admit to feeling lost here as to how three seemingly reasonably educated people couldn't grasp the comments within the context they were written.

How is mentioning two examples of difficult struggles for changes that benefitted modern day society 'going too far'? No one accused anyone of being a racist or fascist. So why the spin?

Wolf

Lulu and copyright infringement..

2011-08-03T18:02:00.001+01:00

'Words of a Wolf - Poetry of a Veteran' was published last year. It's a collection of images and poems that I put together to shed some light on living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Part of the process was to do a quality control check by examining samples from different printers. One of which were 'Lulu' (http://www.lulu.com/). Lulu have a london office but are an american company. I looked at producing two versions of the book with them: paper and an eBook.

The paper version was of a very low quality compared to the UK company that I eventually went with. The eBook was acceptable.

However, before launching any major campaign re the book in the USA, I had to get some tax paperwork sorted out and had to apply for a tax number under the USA Inland Revenue guidelines or I would lose 30% of any royalties by default as tax payments. There are certain tax provisions between the USA and the UK that allow this to be addressed and I followed Lulu's initial advice and went down the route, filled out the necessary forms and a few months later - voila! I had my US tax number. Lulu now failed to provide adequate advice on what to now do with it - which was a complete turn around after my initial enquiries into the matter.

The matter was complicated, convoluted and stressful. So I contacted Lulu and deleted all my projects with them and asked for all my associated 'coprighted' files to be deleted.

First they said,

Date: Wed, 27 Jul 2011 19:16:37 +0000

From: existing_ticket@lulu.com

To: Wolf
Subject: [ ref:00D56zQ]
Dear Villayat,

Thank you for your reply. All of your projects have been deleted. Some of the files that are in your account cannot be deleted in the full sense of the word. They are tied to the orders that were placed in the system and deleting them would be harmful to the file database. When you close your account, all files inside of the account are locked away with that account.

We will never access these files; they remain stagnate in the system. You retain all copyright rights to your book. We will not use or distribute the files once the account is closed. We are sorry, but once the files used in a project have been tied to an order, there is no way to delete them. The best we can do is quarantine them if you like. This will place them in a file-system of no return. Please let me know if you would like us to quarantine your files; it is as close to deleting them as we can do. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Kind Regards,

David K.

Lulu Enterprises, Inc.

Now bearing in mind that I am both the author and publisher of the book and had sufficiently copyrighted the material, I was a little annoyed with their failure to respect my copyright and wrote the following response:

Morning David,

I'm writing in response to your email from my business email address. I suggest you escalate this matter to a manager.

I don't accept your (Lulu's) reasoning or excuse for not deleting my files.

The only reason that Lulu could have to not delete a person's files would be to keep them for future use when the copyright protection runs out.

I'm a member of the Royal Photographic Society and the European News Agency.

Copyright is a very hot issue right now.

I want my files deleted ASAP. You have no customers around these 2 publications apart from me, your records and mine coroborate this fact. I purchased copies to 'quality control' the product. You are not authorised to sell any of my books. You therefore have no reason to keep my files on record.

I draw your attention to my copright notice contained within both titles:

'All poems and images remain the ©copyright of the author, Villayat Sunkmanitu. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author.'

You do not have my authority to store my work. Your function was as a printer and distributor. I am the author and the publisher. I have worked in the IT industry for a number of years and know that there is no reason stopping you from being able to delete my work files.

I will start reporting on this issue via various outlets within 24 hours if my files are still on your system. I suggest you delete my files ASAP.

Villayat 'Wolf' Sunkmanitu LRPS.

The next response was from one of Lulu's managers:

Sent: 03 August 2011 16:14

To: wolf-

Subject: RE: FW: [ ref:00D56zQ6.]

Hi Villayat,

Thank you for the details and your concern. Even though you are the sole buyer of the materials, the back-end systems do not allow deletion as they are tied to an order and allow us to remain compliant in auditing situations. Technically you are correct, a file can be deleted from the servers manually. This is not normal practice for us when someone closes an account.

Once you close your account, or when you make your content Private access only, we are no longer able to distribute or sell the content, regardless of the files stored in our internal systems. This is against the member agreement, and we never claim to have copyright access to files made available on our site by our authors. That is what we are all about, author control of copyright.

As you mention, we store and distribute based on how you set up your projects. Again, once "deleted" or put in Private access only, we will not sell or distribute to ANYONE or any channels, whatsoever.

At your request, we will quarantine your content as David suggested to ensure no one within Lulu can access the files, which would be against our policy, regardless.

Have a nice day.

Rachel Braynin

Manager, Customer Voice.

So, my files relating to the book that are protected by copyright reside on a server and the company refuses to respect my legal copyright and delete the files.

I wrote to them a few minutes ago and gave them 7 days notice to delete all my files and copied the UK Intellectual Property Office into the message, having discussed the matter with them over the phone.

Let's hope that Lulu delete the files. Had I known that these types of problems would arise with regrds to my files relating to my titles, I never would have used Lulu and it certainly puts me off dealing with any other online printer with regards to my future books.

I found the comment 'Technically you are correct, a file can be deleted from the servers manually. This is not normal practice for us when someone closes an account', very worrying indeed and wondered if authors with Lulu realise the implications of work remaining on their servers long term. What happens to all the written work in 70 years time?

Wolf

Does the Royal Photographic Society adequately support professional photographers?

2011-07-29T17:24:00.005+01:00

This is a question that's currently playing on my mind. It all follows on from the debate surrounding photography competitions that harvest images for free AND assume full rights to allow them to do what they will with the images in the future. This has a negative effect on the earning potential of a professional photographer. Why would a company buy images if they have thousands of them saved in databases from photography competitions?

You don't need a lot of foresight or experience in the professional photography sector to see how these competitions are damaging an industry, even more so in the nation's current financial crisis. It's a difficult enough occupation for freelancers without competition organisers pulling the rug from under their feet by immorally grabbing the rights of the image creators with terms and conditions like these:

Entrants will retain copyright for their photos. However, by submitting a photo to the competition entrants are granting a worldwide, irrevocable, perpetual licence for their entries to be edited, published, reproduced and used by Fight for Sight and Park Plaza London hotels for any purpose, free of charge.

I wanted to discuss this matter on the RPS Forum (see http://www.rpsforum.org/index.php?/topic/11097-another-competition-grabbing-images-and-full-rights/) and to get the RPS to support the Artists' Bill of Rights (http://artists-bill-of-rights.org/). I was left with the feeling that the thread was prematurely closed. A discussion normally involves parties bouncing their ideas back and forth and repetition, to some degree, is inevitable...but this felt wrong and left me with the feeling that I wasn't party to some important information.

I have since found a couple of links that shed a bit more light on the issue for me, particularly on the RPS's stance on the issue:

http://www.epuk.org/News/962/rps-retreat

http://www.macuser.co.uk/3250-the-great-photography-competition-swindle

I have to say that I was alarmed that the RPS had even considered running a competition that would have harvested images in the same way as some as these rights grabbers and was relieved to read that the organisation changed their minds after feedback from some members and other profesionals in the field.

I am left with a nagging question though ... in light of the articles on the links posted above and the split attitude towards the protection of artists rights ... do the RPS have the interests of amateur AND professional photographers at heart or are professional photographers better off with other organisations such as the British Institute of Professional Photography (BIPP) (http://www.bipp.com/).

One of the indicators are this: both the BIPP and the RPS are members of the The British Photographic Council (BPC). The BIPP and the BPC openly support the Artists' Bill of Rights (ABoR) by proudly displaying their logos on the ABoR website. The RPS won't join the campaign and I have to ask why? The politicians within the RPS will say that they're already supporting the ABoR as the RPS are members of the BPC. I don't accept that. If you support a principle or cause, you should sign up to it properly.

The Artists' Bill of Rights campaign (http://artists-bill-of-rights.org/) promotes the adoption of a set of ethical standards for competitions and appeals to which creative works are submitted, for example, photographs, music, film, illustrations, graphic design and literary pieces such as stories and poems.

As a professional photographer I need to belong to one organisation that can help me to develop my photographic career and look after my interests. The RPS is supposed to be looking after the interests of photographers, both amateur and professional. So I find myself asking the original question: Does the Royal Photographic Society adequately support professional photographers?

What can you do to help?

Support the Artists' Bill of Rights (ABoR) by logging on to http://artists-bill-of-rights.org/ and get involved in whatever way you can owing to your time restrictions. At the very least, follow their presence of Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Artists-Bill-of-Rights/122794251148479). This is for ALL creatives - not just photographers.

Check the Terms and Conditions of all competitions that you enter - if they state anything similar to:
Entrants will retain copyright for their photos. However, by submitting a photo to the competition entrants are granting a worldwide, irrevocable, perpetual licence for their entries to be edited, published, reproduced and used by .... Don't enter it! They're harvesting images and killing the industry. Copy the webpage of such competitions onto http://www.facebook.com/pages/Artists-Bill-of-Rights/122794251148479 and give ABoR a heads up, whichever country you're in.

While you're happily clicking away at Facebook 'likes' - give my page a click too would you? http://www.facebook.com/pages/Wolf-Photography/215943295114638.

All the best

Wolf

The Artists Bill of Rights - The debate continues...

2011-07-18T18:54:00.003+01:00

Some colleagues in the Royal Photographic Society feel that the Artists Bill of Rights is a bad idea because they feel the bill is not necessarily a good or democratic thing. Others feel that photography and art are open to abuse and that's just the way it is.

For me it brought about a sense of awareness that the issues weren't being examined further than the immediate moment. Are photographers exploited by competition organisers? Almost certainly, though some do use very good terms and conditions of entry that don't abuse your copyright.

If you are serious about selling your shots, you should never display them anywhere higher than 500 pixels in size and you must always have a copyright tag on the image somewhere - whether it appears as text or a watermark.

Don't be tempted to enter a competition for your image if the terms and conditions state anything that resembles the following:

"Entrants will retain copyright for their photos. However, by submitting a photo to the competition entrants are granting a worldwide, irrevocable, perpetual licence for their entries to be edited, published, reproduced and used by Fight for Sight and Park Plaza London hotels for any purpose, free of charge."

In the world of photography you can charge companies amounts of money to use your images - please see http://www.wolf-photography.com/html/pricing.html for an example. This is why photographers use copyright tags. You are letting the viewer know that your work is protected by law and that they cannot use your work without your express permission, which usually requires payment. Commercial organisations that may want your image know that they will have to pay you and they may decide to buy the image off of you to ensure other companies can't use the same image for their marketting campaigns etc.

Please remember that only difference between a professional and an amateur, in my opinion, is that one earns an income from their photography. Amateur does not necessarily mean a lower standard photographer. So if you know you have good shots that could be sold - do not enter competitions that abuse your rights and seek to gain your images for free. Not only are you losing some potential income yourself, you are having a negative effect on the profession of photography.

If you'd like to follow the debate on the Royal Photographic Society's website - go to: http://www.rpsforum.org/index.php?/topic/11097-another-competition-grabbing-images-and-full-rights/.

All the best

Wolf

Le Favole Vineyard...

2011-07-16T15:20:00.001+01:00

One of the summer trips were spent with my friends, Ale and Sandra. They took me to an open day at Le Favole Vineyard which was a new experience for me.

Every year, local vineyards open their doors to the local populace as a way of thanking them for their support and sell their wine at a discounted rate.

Local businesses were in attendance and there was a nice family atmosphere to the day. One of the local meat dishes was a particular favourite of mine...unfortunately I can't remember the name of the dish but the flavour lingers somewhere in my addled mind.

Le Favole only produce about 50,000 bottles per annum, so they don't market within the UK.

The factory itself is built into the side of a mountain which provides some atmospheric advantages. I tried some of the wine (under duress as it's not my nature to consume alcohol) and was quite taken by one of the reds but toally surprised at the white wine.

I have never tasted anything so crisp and fresh before. I normally avoid white wine, thanks mainly to the white wines that I've had a sniff of in UK bars and restaurants in the past. This white wine produced by Le Favole was excellent.

I'll see if I can get my friends Alessandro and Sandra to put more details on as a comment as I'm no wine expert.

If you'd like to contact the vineyard, their website is: http://www.lefavole.com/.

All the best

Wolf

Paris and Chateau d'Ecouen...

2011-07-09T11:08:00.004+01:00

Paris is one of those places that conjures up images of romance and freedom in my mind. I was surprised at the deep level of intergration between different ethnic groups in the city, particularly in commerce, the police and defense services. It was a stark contrast to London.

Travel was facilitated by the 'Paris Visite Pass' which can be purchased from the airport when you land from the visitors information desk (http://www.parismetro.com/). Make sure you get the right zones. 5 days is the maximum travel pass of this sort and for zone 6, costs around 51 Euros. This covers you for bus, metro and the 'RER' trains (as well as some regional trains). It also covers you to use the fernicular at Sacre Coeur.

Stock up on bottles of water locally before heading into the city. Locally you'll pay around 23 cents for a bottle compared to 2 Euros in the city centre. One tip re food - if you want a steak - don't order 'steak tartare'. Steak tartare is raw minced meat with a raw egg mixed in! I made the mistake of ordering it, expecting a lovely steak with tartare sauce. I shrugged my shoulders when the item resembling an uncooked hamburger turned up on a plate. My stomach complained for 2 days afterwards.

You can view the Paris album by going to: http://www.wolf-photography.com/albums/Wolf%20Photography%20-%20France%20-%20Paris/index.html.

I used a website called http://www.homestaybooking.com/. You sign up and find a room with a family and find a room at a cheaper rate than a hotel. The other advantage is that you're staying with local people that have local knowledge of the various things that you might like to see. I was staying at a small town called 'Villiers Le Bel' which is approximately 20 minutes away from Central Paris by train. So if you like avoiding noise and crowds, I'd recommend this area. Look for the Homestay account of Annabelle Spano. You get bed, breakfast and an evening meal, free internet access and nice people to hang out with.

Like most cities, there's always something entertaining going on in the summer months. The 2011 Gay Pride March provided colour, contrast and an uplifting vibe. I bumped into a new friend, Stephane, who clued me in about some of the events and helped me to find my accommodation on the first night. Stephene works for an organisation called 'ADES' that seek to educate people about issues surrounding the condition AIDS and the various forms of discrimination affecting gay people. Although hetrosexual, Stephane is passionate about his work with the organisation.

2011 Paris Gay Pride march images: http://www.wolf-photography.com/albums/Wolf%20Photography%20-%20PEC%20-%202011%20Gay%20Pride%20March%20-%20Paris%20France/index.html.

The railway station Gare Du Norde was the venue for 'La Tournee Art Battles'. Basically 4 artists square off for a 2 hour tournament to come up with a piece of art that the public then vote on. It's the first time I'd photographed something of this nature. You can view the album at: http://www.wolf-photography.com/albums/Wolf%20Photography%20-%20PEC%20-%202011%20Art%20Battles%20-%20Gare%20Du%20Nord%20Paris%20France/index.html.

The last album was shot at Chateau d'Ecouen. Joe, one of my hosts at the accommodation told me about the place and that they carry out re-enactments of the era of the renaissance. We took a drive down and I was treated to a brilliant spectacle of colour and action. Apart from the narrative, the local drama society provided sword duels and jousting. The sun was shining and the colours were vibrant: http://www.wolf-photography.com/albums/Wolf%20Photography%20-%20PEC%20-%20Parcours%20-%20Spectacle%20-%20Chateau%20d'Ecouen/index.html.

I hope you enjoy the images ... and if you go to Paris, have a great time.

Wolf

The story continues ...

2011-06-26T11:21:00.001+01:00

http://www.myviewoflondon.org.uk/2011/06/strong-support/comment-page-1/#comment-434

Well, theye didn't delelte the comment AND left a reply:

climb says:
June 20, 2011 at 12:38 pm
Thanks for your feedback Wolf,
We ask for the rights so we can display the shortlisted entrants at the end of the competition and have the option to use some of the entries to help promote the competition again next year – we will of course credit all the photographers. If you were to ask last year’s entrants they would say we did not misuse the rights and there were no issues.
This is an amateur competition and unfortunately not open to professionals and so won’t affect freelance income
Villayat Sunkmanitu says:
June 26, 2011 at 11:07 am
Hello Climb,
thanks for your reply to my comments. I draw your attention to the relevant terms and conditions of the competition:
Entrants will retain copyright for their photos. However, by submitting a photo to the competition entrants are granting a worldwide, irrevocable, perpetual licence for their entries to be edited, published, reproduced and used by Fight for Sight and Park Plaza London hotels for any purpose, free of charge. They are also agreeing to their name, geographic location, photo and photo description being published in the My View of London online gallery and, if shortlisted, to be exhibited as part of the My View of London photo exhibition at the Park Plaza Victoria London. All prints of photos so exhibited will remain the property of Fight for Sight and Park Plaza London hotels.

If you’re involved in this competition, your response isn’t an honest one. If you’d like to see terms and conditions of competitions that don’t steal other peoples’ creative rights – check out the Wildlife Photographer of the year competition the next time it’s on. Your current terms allow you and the hoteliers to use the images for any purpose. Are you telling me that the hoteliers will pass by opportunities to use these images for their own commercial and/or marketting purposes?
The point of my objection is that competitions like these have a direct affect on the trade of photography as they harvest decent images from enthusiasts for no cost.
If the competition was genuine with regards to its aims re the images – it would have stated that the images would only be used in conjunction with advertising the competition next year and that entrants would be compensated for any commercial usage.
The fact that the competition is open to amateurs only is irrelevant. It still has a direct knock on effect on the livliehoods of photographers that are trying to earn an honest day’s pay.
Competitions like these generate huge collections of images that form image banks for the companies involved. They need to be stopped. I have no problem with amateurs getting income from these competitions…but I have a huge problem with those that exploit the rights of creative people.
If this competition is genuine, it needs to alter its Terms and Conditions.
Wolf

Villayat Sunkmanitu says:
June 26, 2011 at 11:18 am
I forgot to add a very important point. In my view there is only one difference between a ‘professional’ and an ‘amateur’ photographer: ‘professionals’ rely on photography to earn an income.
In terms of image quality, I have seen very high standards from amateurs and some very low standards from professionals.

Steak Tartare

2011-06-25T10:14:00.000+01:00

Ever done anything daft while abroad and had that moment of clarity just before the act?

I did that the other day with steak tartare. I thought I was ordering a steak with tartare sauce, with chips and a green salad. The waiter turns up with a plate that had a lump of raw meat on it together with two side plates - one containing thin crisps and the other the green salad.

I've had to eat some things that I didn't like the look of before so I thought 'sod it' and tucked in. Stephane - a photographer friend on the outskirts of Paris - would later tell me that the meat was raw. I'm glad to say that two days of squitting through the eye of a needle have finally stopped.

Yesterday I photographed more of the touristy type of locations in Paris and then met up with Stephane. He works for an NGO in Paris that raises awareness on the issues of AIDS.

Today there is a gay pride march in Paris, so I'm hoping to get some colourful, vibrant people shots there.

Later

Wolf

Paris - initial thoughts ...

2011-06-23T09:30:00.001+01:00

It has a certain charm to it. Some of the architecture is beautiful and, culturally, Paris seems to be more integrated with other parts of the world at a more basic level than London.

If you're heading out this way, get a travel pass from the tourist information desk at the airport before you leave. It covers you for all your buses, trains and metro travels around the city - make sure you get the right zones covered. Stock up on water locally before you head out for the day. 23cents local or around 2 Euros in the street of Paris central.

I used www.homestaybooking.com to find a room with a family. Basically you get a cheaper room than a hotel and local knowledge.

You'll get the usual hawkers around all of the sites of interest, particularly the Eiffel Tower. Don't be afraid to ignore them and keep on walking.

A lot of the eating places have free WiFi, so you can catch up on messages while you eat.

Don't forget to pick up a travel map with your ticket. If you've used the London underground, you'll be fine with the Metro.

Later

Wolf

Artists Bill of Rights for all Creative People...

2011-06-20T23:32:00.005+01:00

I've complained about this issue over the years - so many organisations (including the BBC and National Geographic) exploit artisic work through competitions and then assume full rights. It's their way of accumulating vast quaintities of written or image work (amongst others) without having to pay the creators anything.

So what are we doing about it?

Young people and those starting off in their creative careers need to know that by entering such competitions they're actually killing the industry that they're involved with. Is there any point in getting your name known in your chosen profession if the act kills off your trade by the time your name is known?

If you have created something and someone wants it - get them to pay you for it - never give them it for free.

Now you can do more. Got to http://artists-bill-of-rights.org/ and get involved in whatever way you can. Get your friends, supporters and colleagues involved too.

All the best

Wolf

Yet another competition killing photography as a profession ...

2011-06-18T21:07:00.002+01:00

Terms & Conditions

My View of London photography competition (http://www.myviewoflondon.org.uk/)

Entrants will retain copyright for their photos. However, by submitting a photo to the competition entrants are granting a worldwide, irrevocable, perpetual licence for their entries to be edited, published, reproduced and used by Fight for Sight and Park Plaza London hotels for any purpose, free of charge. They are also agreeing to their name, geographic location, photo and photo description being published in the My View of London online gallery and, if shortlisted, to be exhibited as part of the My View of London photo exhibition at the Park Plaza Victoria London. All prints of photos so exhibited will remain the property of Fight for Sight and Park Plaza London hotels.

In plain english - this means that you're giving them your images for nothing so that they don't have to pay photographers for thier work.

Entrants warrant that they own the copyright for photographs submitted and that photographs are their original work. Submissions must not have been published elsewhere or submitted to any other photographic competition, including the 2010 My View of London competition. Entrants are responsible for ensuring that permission of the subject of their images has been sought and that the images do not infringe the rights of any third party. Entrants must not have breached any law when taking their photographs.

This bit is to protect the competition organisers from any legal fallout in case the image is stolen or breaches copyright in order to protect what is now their asset.

Support freelance photographers ... DO NOT take part in competitions like this and never give your images away for free. Always read the small print. These styles of competitions collate free images and build up image banks. Think smart - say 'No!'

Please raise your objections and support freelance photographers - they're trying to earn a living too - comment on: http://www.myviewoflondon.org.uk/2011/06/strong-support/comment-page-1/#comment-376

Thanks for reading this and hope you're going to help,
Wolf

Lee Schmidt ...

2011-06-10T17:26:00.007+01:00

I can't remember which year I first met Lee. He was on his honeymoon with his Lady, WhiteEagle, in London. I'd known WhiteEagle for a little time. She was the teacher that gave me my soul name - SnowMoon Wolf.

Lee was this larger than life, gently spoken american guy. I would describe him as worldly and curious (in a good way). He wanted to know about the lives of others from themselves - good bad or indifferent - he loved people and loved sharing stories with them.

We met on a day when we had their host arrange a night out for them. I was invited over and stayed with them. Lee and WhiteEagle were both jet-lagged on that day and looked very tired. Our host arranged for myself and her to get to a site to watch the proms and prepare the picnic. Lee and WhiteEagle were to take a bus to meet us there. I didn't like the thought of 2 jet-lagged americans negotiating a 2 bus journey in a dodgy part of London, so suggested that the ladies go by car and I'd escort Lee over by bus. They agreed.

The ladies left and Lee kind of slumped down. I asked him if he wanted to rest and take it easy ... we could leave when he was ready. He appreciated it and we both went out to sit on the door step. We rolled a couple of ciggies (I was a light smoker then) and we just sat and talked with each other. It was the first time that an adult male had listened to me in this way, without judgement and genuinely taking an interest in my journey. I felt like a son sitting with a father ... but the experience being a borrowed one from films and TV because I never had any kind of connection with my birth father.

The next time that I met Lee was in New Mexico. I'd been on a long photo trip and one of the stops was to meet them both again and to stop by for WhiteEagle's elderhood ceremony. I was doing my best to help one of the participants to make a shelter for WhiteEagle on the Ceremony site and the structure wasn't as stable as I'd envisioned it would be.

I was about to suggest pulling it down and starting again when Lee strolled over and looked at it and 'suggested' leaving it in place and just adding some stakes as stabilisers. That was his way - he'd suggest in a very calm way ...he's take you along and involve you ... allowing you to learn too.

Along the way, I'd had many chances to sit in 'sweat lodges' with people from other tribes, including the Lakota - with whom there was a particularly strong connection. I'd never accepted the offer though - and I didn't know why. There was a sweat lodge at this Ceremony and the males all went into the lodge together; into the womb of the Earth Mother, the silence and darkness complete. Then the drums started beating and the elders led us in the songs that we had come to know through sharing time. Lee and I held hands ... and it felt like I was sitting with a father. In the old days it would have been so .. a father taking a son to his first sweat lodge. I think that this was Lee's first as well. There was such a connection with all the guys - we all held hands in the dark circle as the elder led the sweat and more and more of the heated stone people were brought into the lodge; water was poured onto the stones creating more heat and steam. The songs bonded us and raised our spirits ... our different tones melding the same as a pack of wolves to send forth a melody to the Universe.

After the sweat was complete we had to leave the lodge, say our soul name for all to hear and to say something of meaning. I remember leaving the lodge on all fours - springing clear of the door way and saying, 'I am SnowMoon Wolf', then I stood up and howled my heart out. I listened in the silence but no wolves howled back ... but it was ok ... we were still connected.

The next day, as we sat on the edge of a canyon, something special, private and wonderful happened. The effects of which lasted a little while until reality interceded a few years later.

I met them both again in Calafornia 3 years later.

Myself and Lee went to Yosemite and took some photos. We goofed around, stayed a night and had some booze and a really good laugh that night.

I took this photo of Lee on that trip. Lee Schmidt, a man to walk the mountains with.

Lee finished his journey with us on 5 June 2011, having been taken by cancer.

It seems surreal to hear about Lee today and to receive a text telling me that my birth father is hospital, having suffered a heart attack, in the same day. I'll remember my father for his absence and rejection, while I remember Lee for his gentle humour and loving friendship ... and for letting me see what it's like to sit with a father for a time.

Wolf

Italy and Gian Luka ...

2011-06-02T14:11:00.001+01:00

I went away for a long weekend to visit Alessandro, Sandra and her short term (no rent paying) tenant - Gian Luka.

It was a lovely trip that was full of companionship, good food, good wine, laughs, other forms of Italian culture and good scenery ... and even some salsa!

Sandra was nearing delivery time while I was there but Gian Luka came out and made his first appearance yesterday at 16:06 hrs. Mother baby and papa are fine.

A new breath,
A new life.
The warm embrace of a new mother,
Tears of a new loving father.
The circle of love widens.
Welcome Gian Luka.

All the best

(Uncle) Wolf :)

Gannets in Scotland ...

2011-05-20T00:23:00.001+01:00

I was up in Scotland for 4 days to monitor the 2 nests that I have licences for, as well as some other targets that friends had made me aware of.
Sadly there were no nest sightings on this trip and I couldn't find some of the other species.

I did manage to get to see the gannets at the UK's only inland colony at Troup Head. I've always been drawn to their eyes. They have beautiful faces and heads that give them the appearance of being able to look right into you ... but in a different way to a wolf.

The shots are on http://www.wolf-photography.com/albums/Wolf%20Photography%20-%20Nature%20-%20Gannets/index.html.

Enjoy

Wolf

Shots from Vienna ...

2011-05-11T00:37:00.000+01:00

The shots from Vienna have just been posted on the following link - enjoy!

http://www.wolf-photography.com/albums/Wolf%20Photography%20-%20Austria%20-%20Vienna/index.html

Wolf

Pain, pain ...and some more pain... and Vienna!

2011-05-07T21:36:00.000+01:00

I had forgotten how much pain builds up in my body when I go away and shoot somewhere. Perhaps the short term memory loss is a blessing in that respect!

I was exploring Vienna for 5 days with a friend that lives there. So I was well looked after and could explore places at my leisure, stopping whenever I needed to.

One thing that seems to be increasingly apparent though is that where before I could walk some distance without pain, now any amount of walking is with pain. I guess some of my body parts are complaining at the things that they've had to do over the years of work, sport and play.

I landed at Heathrow yesterday afternoon and drove striaght home, unpacked and then went to a double lesson at the dojo. I'm paying for it today as I'm walking around like an old man in my home!

I think it'll be a sauna and some tens machine therapy later.

My friend in Vienna thought I was joking about the pain because I didn't let on. It doesn't show on my face, especially when I'm focussed on my photography ... but then that's the thing about doing the photography - it's an escape from the PTSD and the body pain. It puts me in a different, creative zone.

Vienna's a beautiful City. I was surprised at how clean it is and thought that some of their ideas could be incorporated in the UK, particularly the specific dog exercise zones and free bike share facilities for citizens ... I can hear the cynical vibes about the bikes being stolen within the first few hours! :)

Some of the architecture is stunning, however I highly recommend a trip to see the Russian Church next door to the Russian Embassy. You'll find many beautiful buildings to photograph in the city.

If you go to the parks surrounding the city zoos and have the time to spend and are lucky enough, you'll see red squirrels and woodpeckers. I wasn't lucky enough to snap them on this trip.

If you're thinking of travelling to Vienna from the UK - the cheapest flights that I found were on http://www.opodo.co.uk/.

Time for salsa ... have a good evening,

Wolf

Time waits for no wolf ...

2011-04-29T21:21:00.001+01:00

I was watering the plants in my garden, fore and aft this afternoon, letting my mind wander.

The Virginia Creepers seemed to have attracted my thought waves. I was watching them, remembering how much of a tough winter they'd survived that is still evidient in some of the dead vines. They're growing again and reaching upwards, populating the vine with rich purple/red leaves. I wondered how much more they'll grow in this season.

It seems that Spring gives some plants the major push they need and growth of Summer is more sedate. 3 months goes so by so quickly nowadays. I find myself wondering how it feels to the Creepers. It's not a long period of time when you think about it as a fraction of the year. Yet the growth achieved by plant beings seems to surpass that of most animals. When I sit and take stock of everything that a plant achieves in one year and the different ways that it networks with other beings to meet its aims, I find myself respecting plants more and more.

There are lessons in there too about what I need to do for myself. How I can network with other people/organisations. The difference though is that while a plant enjoys a symbiotic relationship with certain beings, the world of business is, in the main, full of people that want something for nothing.

Why do I bother working hard at something that doesn't turn a profit? Simply for the love of it. Every time I see something beautiful (whether I manage to capture it with my camera or not), I've been gifted with a memory. Something that has its own colour, vibrancy and energy. A moment that will never happen again in exactly the same way ... and as long as my memory works to a certain degree, those moments will continue to live within me, enriching me, broadening my horizons, challenging my perceptions and providing me with a wealth that surpasses material gains.

It'd be nice to network with someone that understands and respects the art though, someone that's fair and doesn't want to rip my arm off and smack me with the soggy end. Selling some prints would work too!

Most people working in creativity have a hard time of it ... but as long as we can carry on creating, we're being paid in a different way ... and we're contributing something from within.

So, if you're a fellow creative and finding it hard to survive - don't give up! Keep creating and keep your vision alive!

Wolf

Problems with emails and newsletters...

2011-04-14T10:50:00.001+01:00

Hi Folks,

I used to send out regular monthly newsletters to people that had subscribed onto the mailing list but have had severe problems over the last 12 months that have prevented me from continuing to do so. The problems have also affected some of you that I use to email.

I only hold email addresses as contact details for some of you, so I haven't been able to contact you or reply to your emails because of the problems that I've been experiencing.

If you have emailed and me and haven't had a response it's because your Internet Service Providers (ISP) email filter has blocked me from contacting you. It's quite a complicated scenario though and I'm pushing my ISP to resolve the issue ASAP.

Please don't think that you're being ignored. I simply can't contact you at the moment.

Regards

Wolf

The wonder of spring...

2011-03-15T23:38:00.000Z

How can a season have such an effect on me?

It's the energy and vibrance that the other creatures bring to it, together with all the flora, fauna and all manner of other beings/entities.

I've been photographing wildlife in Wollaton Park for a couple of hours a day over a period of 4 days and it's been amazing.

Sunlight always helps the process anyway but Monday had a definite - different - vibe. Spring wasn't here just because my daffodils have come up or because some words and numbers on a calendar say so. It was here because I could feel it in the air. So could the other creatures I was watching. There was a definite move towards their various mating rituals.

I've witnessed swans mating and photographed the courtship dance of a pair Great Crested Grebes. I've also photographed a pair of Herons mating on their nest, as well as a pair of Coots.

The most difficult thing to photograph has been the rivalry amongst the Coots. I have to admit to not being sure exactly what I was witnessing with the Coots as the males and females look the same to me. I wasn't sure if male birds had harems and kept other males away or whether they just attacked other Coots for the hell of it ... but it made for some dramatic photos. I hope I can get more of them in better light!

The Red Deer made another appearance in the water, this time at the other end of the lake, to the delight of the public. Knowing they go through water and seeing them do it are two different things. It still surprises me how gracefully they move in water too, especially with those impressive antlers!

The female Heron has been buildling her nest together with her male. He keeps flying to the sides of the lake and coming back with long twigs and, sometimes, branches and then gives her a hand to work them into the nest structure. The nest is a fair size now. She allowed him to mate with her on Friday, so fingers crossed for them.

I feel very lucky to have been able to witness these sights and hope that you'll venture out and see them for yourselves.

All the best

Wolf

Breeding season ...

2011-03-09T13:59:00.002Z

The light was awful and the skies were drizzling rain upon us. I'd taken a friend out on a photoshoot. We'd met up an hour or so earlier and it was time to try to put some theory into practise, having gone over how to use aperture, shutter speed and ISO settings and how it all ties in. If you can come up with a decent shot in these conditions, you'll have done ok.

I treated the walk around like a recce of the area. Looking at where things were and what kinds of wildlife used the area. There was the usual abundance of birds, local and migrant, around the main lake, as well as two herds of deer (red and fallow).

On the way back to the car I stopped to watch two Swans courting, ceremoniously cleaning them selves and posing gracefully for each other before the female allowed the male to mate with her. It was another of those moments where the camera couldn't get the image stored to the memory card, however, my eyes could record the memory in my soul.

I've been back since and seen some beautiful sights: Herons building nests on the nursery, various deer going about their daily lives and smaller birds selecting mates and getting their perspective breeding seasons under way.

Happy Spring season to you all.

Wolf

Giving away secrets ...

2011-03-04T18:00:00.001Z

How many times have you seen this ad in various places?

You may want to follow it through. The advertisers are hoping you will. They'll make it sound like they're going to give you a secret piece of info and before you know it, you'll be entering the last 3 digits off the back of your plastic.

Want to know a really FREE way to get a tiny belly? Click here

No tricks, no payment - just honest, free information.

; )

Getting back on course ...

2011-03-03T09:56:00.000Z

I'm half way through the backups and the admin seems to be more or less up to date.

I see those tasks as chores - get them finished and I get some reward - going out to wildlife with my camera!

The breeding season's already started for some species. There'll be various things to hear and see if you go through woods and forests quietly. I'll be looking for kingfishers soon and trying to setup hunting perches for them to use in the hope of photographing them.

I'm also feeling the pull to get on the road somewhere. The osprey will be coming in to Rutland soon. Some of them perhaps stopping for a break before heading up to Scotland. All my licences have been renewed and I'm eagely waiting for news that the first ospreys have arrived. It'd be good to get some shots of nest building this year - pray for blue skies!

Later

Wolf

Quality verses quantity ...

2011-02-21T13:49:00.000Z

How many times have you heard the above phrase?

It was a constant, key theme for me in the CAB service. Any bureau with a good level of service will have queues - both on the phone and in the waiting room. The problem with hurrying through the clients enquiry is that you might miss an important piece of information that could resolve their problem ... and more often than not, it would be in a complex area of law. So as an advice worker, casework supporter or manager - it was essential that all the relevant facts were explored.

When I look at customer services operatives in companies nowadays, it's clear that they all have a deadline to meet per call. They're under pressure to end the call, relevant information isn't then digested, assumptions are made based on misinformation and 'bang!' - they're trying to terminate the call.

I had to phone up 'Nectar' this morning because my account had been frozen. I couldn't access it on the net. I was told by a phone operative that the account had been closed because I hadn't used my card in the last 12 months. I told him that wasn't the case and that I had been purchasing fuel regularly from the station around the corner. He said that I had probably accidentally used someone elses card or key fob instead of mine. After having explained to him why that was not possible, he said that he would open up another account for me. Luckily I found a receipt that listed a 'Nectar' account number from the last time that I'd swiped mine ... and it wasn't my account number. It resulted from swiping my fob though. We ended up on the 'you must have swiped somebody else's fob by mistake'. I'm thinking - 'yes, that's what I do - I forget the fob that's on my key ring and I reach back to the person behind me in the queue and I swipe MY points onto THEIR cards for the hell of it.

I eventually get to a call supervisor - surprise surprise - the version of events that the manager has bare no resemblance to the facts of the complaint. So I start all over again!

If you have a Nectar account - check your statements as this is a regular occurence and it stems from this: Operatives from retail outlets are told to 'Scan' your cards or fobs - NOT to swipe them on card readers. When they're swiped - your points may end up on someone else's account - so swiped indeed! So insist on your nectar fob being scanned! As directed by Senior Nectar Customer Services operative.

Best way to check if your account is active is to log in online, as they don't send you any notification to say that they've closed your account down. http://www.nectar.com/my-account.points is the link you need.

I had to persist to get them to address the issues raised here. They're going to check the other account - setup a new account for me and transfer the points they closed down - plus all of my points that have been going to this unnamed person somewhere in the country.

Have a good Monday,

Wolf

The flu's almost gone ...

2011-02-11T09:47:00.001Z

Yucky, yucky, yuck, yuck!

If you've had it this year, you'll know. What a horrible virus!

So, at the moment I'm putting my travel insurance claim together and then hopefully getting back on track. I hope to get some snow and ice shots before the stuff melts but spring's made an announcement - it's coming! Actually, it's tentatively here, according to the snowdrops and crocuses that have flowered in my garden. The look beautiful by the way.

I ordered lots of seeds for the border in the front garden this year. I'm going poppy mad. The UK variety mixed in with blue Himalayan poppies and some meadow flowers. It should look good and the poppies should keep coming back.

The poems are coming along nicely. I'm halfway through compiling a second volume. I've also started back on my travel photography book too.

Here's to being able to go to a salsa do somewhere this weekend : )

Wolf

Letting my mind wander...

2011-02-09T18:18:00.009Z

As we continually build and extend our boundaries around our towns and cities, as well as using up more and more of whatever green land is left within their boundaries, we push more species out of their natural habitats. Foxes HAVE to come and forage for food amongst human waste. That in iteslf is one of the crimes modern day English society is guilty of. The food chain of the fox is also affected by utilising chemical warfare, caused by the Myxoma virus - Myxomatosis was introduced to the UK after WWII to control the rabbit population.

I hear conflicting reports about whether the virus is still used to control the rabbit population on these lands. It perhaps sheds light though on why some foxes will wipe out the entire population of a chicken shed and bury the carcasses as food stores for later. As in all species, there will always be an individual that acts out of character. If a human being goes on a killing rampage, people will allow for that as 'not normal behaviour', thinking themselves to be superior to all other beings on the planet, and perhaps in the Universe, but if another animal such as a fox or a wolf were to kill off their livestock - those animals will be regarded as out of control, driven by blood lust and whatever other labels society sees fit to place on them.

Bird life is also affected by human habitat development. As one animal pushes out its boundaries, a species lower down the food chain will suffer. The RSPB reported reduced numbers of common garden birds last year and a drop in the numbers of migrant species. I would theorize that there's some commonality between the plight of the fox and our feathered friends.

It's good to see home owners in cities trying to address the lack of balance by leaving food out for birds, foxes, hedgehogs and whatever other visitors frequent their gardens. Further out in the wilds though, eagles, osprey and various other protected and unprotected species are being killed off - some by poison, some baited by traps. Poison's the gift that keeps on taking though as it's transfered form being to being. You only have to look at the dangerous run offs from some farms to see what's being added to our rivers and streams.

It all presents a question that seems to be continually swept under the rug: What are the government doing about population control in the UK? Should we as humans be allowed to continually reproduce and expand our communities and develop new towns and cities to the detriment of other species that have the same right to live? Will other species have to be near extinction before something is done to protect them? If so - will it then be too late? When are we going to stop poisoning the land and waters around us?

How many humans give a second glance, let alone a second thought to other creatures that inhabit their communites? The only hope for the future of wildlife in the UK, as always, lies with the young. Our generation's not effective enough in protecting the greenbelt, the government's warning about having to build 60 new towns is evidence of that.

Humans are living longer, euthanasia is still illegal in the UK - so severally ill people are forced to continue to live against their will - and the NHS continues to complain about a shortage of beds for patients. Their relatives relatives desperate to find a dignified ending for their loved ones.

Populations continue to increase and so does the demand for affordable housing. House prices are continually being pushed up as a result of the wealthy buying up properties in poorer areas. Property has always been a good investment but the by-product is that local people in areas of poverty are unable to buy a home for their families in their locale and Local Authorities are shedding housing stock and ill-equipped to deal with the housing shortage in the country.

As has become the norm in this country, people, governments and politicians seek answers to their part of the task rather than looking at how their particular problem fits the whole equation. Joined up thinking ended up flushed away years ago. We're now a nation run by limited minds with deep pockets that understand one language - greed. Where there is greed there will always be corruption. The property buying is reaching into the poorer quarters of Europe now as sister nations are now being raped by the property owners of the 'civilised' world. I was having a conversation on a flight with a businessman whose sole mission was to visit the Czech Republic and similar areas for the sole task of purchasing cheap property. I doubt that the locals will have considered the issue properly before selling. You only have to look in areas like Cornwall in the UK to see what this behaviour does to the local populace.

Some political sources felt that the moment a current government raises the issues of euthanasia and population control, they'll have committed political suicide. If you don't raise the difficult questions with regard to human responsibilities and communities for fear of losing power, how do you hope to educate and reform human behaviour with regards to responsible living?

All of the issues raised in this post are connected. As a great voice once said:

'Every part of this earth is sacred.

Every shining pine needle, every sandy shore, every mist in the dark woods, every clearing and humming insect is holy. The rocky crest, the meadow, the beasts and all the people, all belong to the same family.

Teach your children that the earth is our mother. Whatever befalls the earth befalls the children of the earth.
We are part of the earth, and the earth is a part of us. The rivers are our brothers; they quench our thirst.
The perfumed flowers are our sisters. The air is precious, for all of us share the same breath. The wind that gave our grandparents breath also receives their last sigh. The wind gave our children the spirit of life.

This we know, the earth does not belong to us. We belong to the earth.
This we know, all things are connected. Like the blood which unites one family, all things are connected.'

From an oration of Chief Seattle,

Native American, U.S.A., 19th Century

How many rivers can you still drink from in the UK? How many people are aware of the 'spirit of life'? What else has to disappear or go into decline before people in the UK wake up and read the writing on the wall? I guess the same goes for the USA. Instead of creating wars to to control the resources of other countries, we need to be putting the same amount of effort and funding into cleaning up our own backyards; instead of dumping dangerous chemicals in our rivers and oceans and killing off species of animlas that have more right to live on the Earth than us - simply because they live in tune with it, they don't contaminate it, destroy it or kill as we do.

Here's an example of something: We've had the technology for electric cars for quite some time now. Oil doesn't have to rule the world's commerce any longer. However, the oil barons want their money, so they won't permit the mass production of electric cars - they'll be left with huge amounts of oil that will last a lot longer than anticipated. You can get anyone to produce a paper to state whether something is viable or not - but do you really believe that the time hasn't come for deisel and petrol vehicles to be taken off the production lines? Hybrid cars are the half-way house. 'Yeah - go ahead and buy the hybrid, we can still palm some oil and fuel off on you that way!' Big Wink.

Wolf

Flu's a pain in the @rse ...

2011-02-05T15:38:00.004Z

Play was stopped last week owing to a visit to the surgery for some paperwork. A large male homo erectus was coughing loudly and deeply all over everyone in the waiting room and had about as much of a social conscience as Adolf (yes THE Adolf).

It's a sign of the times though isn't it? It made me think of my time in the NHS. I used to work as an IT engineer in Cornwall. You were given a geographical area of responsibilitiy and told to get on with it basically. I'll never forget some of the things that I saw though in the lack of responsibility in the medical staff: doctors and nurses coming in sick and with obvious cold and flu symptoms, a lack of hygene when going from area to area and the ever present 'Come in for treatment for your own ailment and get a bonus disease OR condition FREE from us for when you leave!!!'

Is it fair to leave the blame for cross-contamination on the NHS staff though? In some circumstances - yes - definitely. If you're a health professional and you know that you have a highly contagious condition, you have no business taking it in to the hospital environment. There is NO excuse. However, NHS managers put doctors, nurses and ancilliary staff under a lot of increasing pressure with regard to time off for sickness. Various policies and procedures were introduced to the Royal Cornwall Hospital to try to curtail the amount of sick days that staff were taking off. The end result was that you could be disciplined if you had too many and could lose pay. Hence staff dragging themselves into work with highly contagious diseases, cross contamination in areas that should be sterile (eg operating theatres etc). Hospitals can be very stressful environments to work in - stress reduces the body's ability to cope with illnesses - see the connection? Maybe the managers need to give the genuinely ill workers a break?

If you're ill with the flu - stay home and keep it to yourself ... sharing isn't always nice : ) If you're about and about and are coughing and sneezing, use a frigging hankie or tissue! Remember that old advert? 'Coughs and sneezes spread diseases'.

Wolf

Update completed ...

2011-01-24T12:04:00.000Z

The website update's been completed. Thanks for your patience and please accept my apologies for any delays caused.

A few new albums have been added plus some new images to existing albums.

Enjoy!

Regards

Wolf

Happy Birthday ...

2011-01-21T11:03:00.003Z

Her water had just broke. She gasped in pain and put her hands protectively over her extended belly. He looked at her, 'Are you okay?' She smiled and said, 'The pain's sharper than the first time. I think this one's coming quicker though we'd better hurry'. She crumpled in pain. He helped her sit on the chair and then got the birthing kit in the car and started it up before helping her into it. They dropped their 2 year old son off with a friend and headed off to the hospital.

There was an urgency in her voice and the pain got sharper, the contractions closer together ... so much quicker than with the birth of their son. It seemed as if she was having one long contraction. He got her into the hospital and they were quickly booked in. He helped her to the their maternity suite and then ran back down to park the car that he'd abandoned by the entrance.

When he got back up a doctor and three midwives were in the room. Their tones hushed and looks of concern had darkened the energy in the room. A contrast to the energy that should exist in a place that sees new life. Her pain was sharper now, really intense. She was having trouble breathing. A midwife had checked on the unborn child and reported irregularities and reported that the umbilical chord was twisted around the baby's neck. The mother-to-be couldn't push the baby out yet, the act would suffocate the baby.

The pain intensified, she started to drift away. He watched the light start to fade in here eyes. The doctor and midwives seemed to be panicking and unclear on the course of action. The one midwife that was working on freeing the chord from about the baby's neck, looked up and said. 'It's free now. She can start pushing. We need to get the baby out quickly. If she's too tired we'll have to go for a caesarean birth'

He watched her slipping further away. It seemed that the noise and panic being created by the doctor and other midwives was unprofessional and didn't belong here. He looked at them, 'Get out of this room, now!' They looked at him, stunned into silence. 'Move it!' The remaining midwife looked at him questioningly. 'Stay and help please,' was all he said to her. She nodded and said, 'She's dangerously tired, we may need to do something soon or you'll lose them both.'
He looked at her calmly, 'I understand', was all he said and she resumed her checks on the woman and the baby.

He knelt by the mother-to-be and looked deep into her eyes. She seemed to remember him through the pain and whispered, 'It hurts so much. I'm so tired. I just want to sleep.'
He took her hand and spoke gently but firmly to her, 'Listen to me, I know you're tired but I need you to focus. I need you to come back to me and take some of my energy. Keep listening to my voice. I'm right here with you and I'm sending you my energy. You need to fight now.'
'I can't, I'm so tired.' She started to close her eyes.
'Wake up' He made eye contact with her again and held to her life force and felt some of his energy flowing into her. Her eyes opened. 'That's it', he said, 'I'm right here, feel my energy, take it, use it. You're not giving up. Fight. It's time to push the baby out. You need to start now or the baby will die.' She looked back into his eyes and he saw her come back. As tired as she was, she came back and fought for the unborn life inside her. A few minutes later Laila Kesia was born and her father cut the chord between baby and mother. That day was the 21st of January 1997.

So ended the longest hour of his life. He let mother and baby rest at the hospital that night, picked up his son and half the street probably heard Eric Clapton blaring out of the house that afternoon.

Moon rise ...

2011-01-21T08:35:00.002Z

Watching the moon has always fascinated me, particularly in the winter months.

I was watching her rise the other night, larger than life in the gap between mine and a neighbour's home. A golden glow surrounded her as she reflected the last of the sunset and the sky became a light red and purple carpet for her to rise upon. As she took her place the stars came to life. Stars that I hadn't seen in such constellations for many years, not that I could name them.

It wasn't long before the frost twinkled in the fading light, encompassing all the plants and surfaces in the gardens. It was as if the Moon were claiming the Earth as her own for a brief time, carpetting her in pure white crystals and cleansing her.

My neighbour is 88 and can't see that well but she always gasps in wonder when I get her out to see the Moon and the stars. She always wonders whether if her husband and her son are two of the stars looking down upon her in those moments as she remembers two of the departed souls that she loves.

Be well,

Wolf

It's taking ages!!!

2011-01-20T01:02:00.000Z

Redoing all the image albums is a monotonous task and it's taking me a while. All the travel section's been updated and should be uploaded tonight before I hit the sack. If you happen to see any missing images - please drop me an email.

The Special Editions section is done too.

That leaves Actions Sports & Events, People & Culture and the Wildlife section (which is probably as much work as the travel section).

So please bear with me re incorrect pricing. All the prints are now unframed and the pricing has been reduced on stock image canvases.

Current pricing for printed images:

Canvas Photo Art - Special Editions - supplied unframed - these images are not available for magazine or website usage:

Single Canvas Print Size approx 24 "x36" £99.99 (GBP)

Prints from the Image Library

All images are unmounted and unframed.
Any A4 print £12.99 (GBP)
Any A3 print £22.99 (GBP)
Single Canvas Print Size approx 24 "x36" £69.99 (GBP)

Postage & Packing costs are as follows:
UK
A4 £2.50 (GBP)
A3 £3.50 (GBP)
Canvas £10 (GBP)

Worldwide
A4 £10 (GBP)*
A3 £10 (GBP)*
Canvas £20 (GBP)*

*Please email before ordering, to make sure I can provide a delivery service to your country.

If you want to buy a print and the price is wrong on the actual image album - please email me on wolf (at) wolf-photography.com and let me know the image and size that you want printed and I'll generate a money request through 'Paypal' for the correct amount.

All the best

Wolf

This made me smile ...

2011-01-08T01:28:00.002Z

I saw this on Facebook and I guess it's supposed to be how women assume that men 'love' or maybe where they fall in love. Seems to me that it's wrong on both sides. :o)

Here's my version. I guess it's my way of saying that if I love a woman, it's mind, body and soul. When I think of the lucky people that I know that are in secure, loving relationships, I imagine that this is how it is for them. That's not to say that life doesn't present them with their hurdles ... but they seem to overcome them and keep each other going.

2011 has started off slowly. There's a whole load of admin updates to carry out to the website owing to the change in VAT in the UK. There's also been a change in the way that the canvas prints will be shipped out. Everything's unframed now. This gives the customer the option to frame things in accordance with individual taste etc. I've also added a rough price for 'worldwide' shipping and will stick to it where possible - as long as there isn't a massive difference in the actual postage costs.

All the print prices remain the same apart from the canvas prints from the stock image library - they've been reduced to £69.99 for a 3ft canvas print. The Special Edition canvases are still £99.99 but I've had to add postage costs to cover the rise in those costs over the last 3 years.

Current projects are as follows: updating all the catologs on the website with the new pricing and photographing kingfishers! Oh and the second volume of poetry is half way to completion.

Hope that things are good for you and that your year has started off well.

All the best

Wolf

2011 Begins!

2011-01-01T12:08:00.000Z

It was a good start to the year. I went to a salsa party and danced the old year away and the new one in. Lately there seem to be enough people to dance with so I can avoid the 'difficult' ladies on the dance floor. Usually I just go for the dance and not much socialising. I just lose myself in the music, push my body to work and then leave. There are a few people that say hello and there are a couple I can have a conversation with. There seems to be a change now though as there's been more socialising over the last 4 or 5 dances, which is a nice change.

I met a lass that's serving in the RAF, whose birthday is on the same day as me, so we both saw our birthdays in together last night. Her hubby's a medic in Afghanistan at the moment. He'll be home to her soon enough though ... and safely. When I joined up in 1981 - she was the grand age of 2!

I was driving so I didn't have a drink until I got home. A nice polish family have moved into the close and I had a bottle of vodka in the freezer, so as their lights were on, I did a different version of invading Poland and we sat and talked and shared a drink 'til about 4am I think. It was good to hear about their lives and their views on aspects of their life. The guy also likes Gelnfiddich! I can't remember who gave me the vodka - I wonder if it was a present from my neighbour last Xmas?

Anyway, Edna's passed me a meal and I'm hungry.

Happy New Year!

Wolf

Ending 2010 ...

2010-12-31T18:00:00.001Z

There are certain circles that come to a close in your life. They just happen, whether through your effort or an external influence, by the prayers or wishes of your friends or the energy of love transfered from a well wishing stranger. The vessel of change takes many forms ... but we still have to recognise it and act on it.

This was a very difficult year for me with regards to coping with PTSD, simply because I opened up a small window into my soul for the greater good. The greater good being the campaign to shed some light into the lives of veterans with PTSD. To help their loved ones and other pople understand them, their journeys, their concerns and their hurdles.

For some veterans the hostile zone lies in the past, for many others every day is a battle against stigma, a lack of being understood, being isolated and ignored and fighting to get from one day to the next. The problems that you face in daily life affect Veterans too, they become the extra layer of crap to deal with on top of an already exhausting fight.

In a way I failed other veterans on this blog because I couldn't open up as much as I wanted to. I allowed you glimpses into my life but kept the real stuff locked down ... tight. There is a fear within me that if I sit with someone and open up everything that I won't be able to control myself - I'd be walking around like weapon without a safety catch ... and writing the poetry book added to the sense of vulnerability as my soul was exposed to you in an attempt to make you understand the pain that PTSD can cause.

As I watch the waning moon I sit and remind myself of the most recent emotional scars; feeling the pain of the events that caused but them, firmly, closing the door on them. All the current crap that has happened over the last 3 years.

I moved to Nottingham over those last 3 years and felt the undignified way that the NHS in the area handles Veterans that transfer from other areas. The only department to handle the situation with any dignity and understanding was the pain clinic. The rest were completely ignorant of PTSD and what the average Veteran goes through. I recently recieved a letter from the NHS that stated that a recent study showed that people only benefitted from accupuncture over a period of 12 months, after which is was of little use. I've been trying to con my body into accepting their finding but it seems to utter one phrase in return. 'What a lof of bollocks!' I really dislike needles and would not choose to sit and watch them being inserted into my body for a good laugh. Yet, the treatments act as a valve release for both physical pain and the mental stress. I feel like I've shared a spliff off Cheech and Chong (you know - the big fat ons they roll?), I'm completely zoned out and relaxed by it. BUT, I have to bow to the superiority of some jack arse that wrote a report and listen to the trust tell me in a round about way that they're cutting the service down because they don't have the budget to keep it available to me. So, another of those doors that are closing is the NHS and it's service provision to me as a 'priority' patient. My thanks to the Tory/Lib Dem alliance; shame they haven't invented an effective cream for that dose of hemorrhoids yet.

I met my father over the course of the last 3 years somewhere. I felt he needed me and I tracked him down and went to him. I didn't know that there had been a death in the family. He started to grieve as he saw me and I held him and allowed him the silent dignity to wash his pain. I told the younger members of their household to leave us. He told me his brother had died and I listened in silence and he just cried until there were no more tears. I'd never seen my father cry - hell in the time since my parents split up in 1972, I've only seen him 6 or 7 times. I guess there are some things an elder son is expected to do for his father and this visit was one of them, even though I was unaware of the event before meeting my father.

As he calmed, we sat and talked of more general things and we agreed to meet again quite soon. I told him that there was somethig that I needed him to read. I opened my soul to him about my journey with PTSD. We met a week later and I handed him the words. He read the first page, then skimmed pages 2 and 3 and handed me the words back saying, 'It's all in your mind, this is nothing.' I remember thinking, 'Genius! He could be a psychiatrist!' He certainly had the required level of ignorance to be an average psychiatrist. He then looked at me and said, 'I don't like you.' The dislike centred on my having a different family name to his and not following the religion of my ancestors. That might be the bit about being the eldest son that I tagged 'Blow it out your arse'.

I was careful with my children on that score. Teaching them about spirituality and keeping them away from organised religion ... but also raising awareness of the different faiths and teaching them tolerance and letting them know that if they decided to adopt an organised faith in later life - it was their decision and it was ok with me because my role in their lives was just to help prepare them for their journeys - not to live their lives for them.

So, my father is one of those doors that will firmly close as the SnowMoon disappears.

The relationship with my children has changed too as they firmly enter that horrible period of hormonal change. The doors open for them and I'm still here ... but the times are a changing and they've got to learn to get up on their own feet and learn the words their talk will walk.

So, as far as being more open about my PTSD goes ... it stops here. I may write something every now and then ... but it'll be for the genune people that want to know or as a therapeutic act for me. I'm not interested in the limelight.

The writing continues! I'm half ay through writing the next volume of poetry and I'm still travelling to different places to bring back more images. Keep an eye on http://www.wolf-photography.com/, there's always something different going on the site.

I feel honoured by those of you that visit my site and read some of the bollocks I write. It's a symbiotic relationship. Your input, words, encouragment keeps me going and adds purpose to my art. The purpose being to share what I see and what I feel with you. You're closer to me than any real family that I've had, whether you've ever met me, wrote to me or not.

What ever crap is going on your life, try to leave as much of it as you can tonight and close the door on it. Do things that make you laugh and feel alive.

I wish you a joyful 2011 and every happiness.

Respectfully

SnowMoonWolf

Update - eBook released last night ...

2010-12-15T12:06:00.000Z

Apologies to people that have been trying to buy the eBook version of 'Words of a Wolf'. There's been a problem with assigning an ISBN etc and it's all sorted now.

You can buy the eBook from this link: http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/words-of-a-wolf---poetry-of-a-veteran-(ebook-version)/14303713?productTrackingContext=shopping_cart/recently_viewed/center_middle/1#detailsSection

There's also a preview option under the cover image.

All the best

Wolf

Update re new images

2010-12-14T15:32:00.000Z

Most of the new shots from this year are up now. Just look for the red 'New' tag by the albums.

You can find them on the following pages:

Special Editions
http://www.wolf-photography.com/html/special_edition_index.html

Nature
http://www.wolf-photography.com/html/nature_album_index.html

People and culture
http://www.wolf-photography.com/html/people_ent_index.html

Travel
http://www.wolf-photography.com/html/travel_index.html

For those of you that have been waiting for the shots of the Game of thrones set - they're located in the Malta - Mdina page on the Travel section.

Cheers

Wolf

Mat's Quest

2010-12-07T14:37:00.001Z

If you live near or in Oaklahoma City, USA, please support my friend's exhibition and make other people aware of this event? I've attached a photo for use too. Details below:

Mat’s Quest Foundation Photography Exhibit/Sale

December 11th, 2010
7pm to 10pm
Louie’s Grill & Bar
1201 NW 178 St, Oklahoma City

Mat’s Quest Foundations mission, is to educate the general public about diet, exercise, and getting out of a sedentary lifestyle. We have developed a scholarship program to assist individuals who qualify for weight loss surgery, but have no insurance coverage for the procedure. 100% of the net profit from this exhibit/sale will go directly to the scholarship program!

For more information contact: Mat Jones (405) 227-4321
http://www.matsquest.com/

***Featuring selected works by Member of the Royal Photographic Society, Wolf Sunkmanitu!*** http://www.wolf-photography.com/

Would you sell your soul to the press to get publicity for your book?

2010-12-06T17:01:00.001Z

I had an interesting phone call today ... interesting might be the wrong word. I'd approached a publicist re helping with Words of a Wolf and the whole project - raising awareness of PTSD in Veterans.

Northern Ireland's old news. The media attention is on the current conflict in Afghanistan. The obvious angle for any publicist should have been the struggle that Veterans from previous campaigns face in their day-to-day lives. How so many of them have been forgotten. How so many of them are homeless. How so many some of them are in prison because of PTSD. How so many of them fight their battle within, against PTSD, on a daily basis, many of them not knowing if they'll maike it through another day.

All publicists want is a story that can go to the newspapers. Sensationalism sells.

Did I want to be a spokesperson for PTSD? No, I don't.

Can yout tell me what happened to you in Northern Ireland? No, I don't want to go into that and I don't want issues to be raised of Northern Ireland veterans against Afghanistan veterans. My awareness campaign is about how PTSD affects ALL veterans afflicted with the condition ... and I'm not after fame.

It made me sit back and take a good long, hard, look at the issues I'm up against. The whole project has been geared towards helping Veterans and their families. The proceeds to be used to help me continue therapeutic work and fund an exhibition to do more awareness raising ... and for 25% of the profits to go to the creative therapies wing of Combat Stress in order to facilitate Veterans using creativity as a coping mechanism for PTSD.

There's no profit yet. So far the book has broke even, which I guess is good going as it's been a solo affair from the point of view of publishing (apart from the help from Derek Thompson). In terms of running costs for the business etc ... I'm still running at a loss. There are still 750 odd copies left of the first print run. These need to be sold, so I think I'll put a discount on purchases from my website.

The last thing I said to the publicist was that the book speaks for itself. It doesn't need me to be a spokesman for anything.

I think I'll stay away from the media now.
Wolf

First album from Egypt ...

2010-12-03T09:16:00.000Z

The first album from Egypt has been published to my website. You can view the images on the following link: Of the Pharaohs

I hope you enjoy them.

These images are only available as 3 foot canvas prints, same as the other images in the 'Special Edition' range.

All the best

Wolf

This is the kind of rubbish that people put on Facebook ...

2010-11-28T14:59:00.006Z

15YEAR OLD SCHOOL GIRL HAS BEEN ARRESTED AFTER BEING FILMED BURNING THE KORAN ? CATHERINE HESELTINE, CEO OF THE MUSLIM PUBLIC AFFAIRS COMMITTEE UK, SAID BURNING THE KORAN WAS OFFENSIVE TO FOLLOWERS ? BUT ITS OK FOR MUSLIMS TO BURN POPPIES AND HOLD UP BANNERS SAYING "KILL BRITISH ...SOLDIERS" .. HOW IS THIS RIGHT ? I WONDER HOW MANY OF YOU WILL HAVE THE BALLS TO POST THIS AS YOUR STATUS ?

My reply:

The Koran means nothing to me personally. I'm not a muslim. The Bible means nothing to me. I'm not a christian. The Poppy means something to me because I've served in the armed forces. How would a christian feel if you burnt his or her bible? One of my biggest fears for communities in this country when we went into Iraq was the back- lash of violence and division it could cause in our country, the UK. Then I see posts like that demonstrate ignorance and a complete lack of awareness of the issues concerned. It's the same ignorance that led those idiots to burn the poppy. You all need to start thinking about things properly and stop contributing to the cycle of hatred that's going to destroy 'British' communities.

In finishing:

Am I blind and lost in an alternative state or can others see the division being created throughout the UK? So much separatist, racist nonsense is going on as a reaction towards the wars that we've created as a 'civilised' nation. The biggest casualties are our own multi-cultural communities. You'd think that a lot of these posts on Facebook (as quoted above) were created by delinquents working for the British National Party.

Wake up UK! If you were meant to be a bunch a puppets, you'd have been been born with wider @rseholes. When the politicians are dividing communities, something usually crappy is about to happen with regard to government decisions/policies. Once you're divided as a community, your voice is probably as effective as a cat flap in an elephant house.

My apologies to the readers that are awake and aware :)

Wolf

First snowfall of the winter ..

2010-11-27T11:49:00.001Z

Whenever I see snow I feel uplifted. I awoke to the sight of it covering my car and gardens. The sun was just rising, peering between neighbouring roof tops and the sky was blue. A perfect morning.

I cleared my neighbours path so that she doesn't slip, loaded her bird feeders and took in a some coal for her. I don't want her risking a fall, especially at her age.

I'd love to drive out into the snow somewhere but it being a weekend - the places will be crowded. So, I'll make do with watching it on the trees and plants in my garden. The birds are flying in frequently for food, great tits, coal tits, blue tits, robins, thrush, blackbirds are in abundance ... as are the pesky squirrels :) I was watching a squirrel pull off the winter jasmine flowers and eat them! I've put some nuts out in the hope that it'll leave the flowers alone. Seems like a fair trade ... maybe I should get a paw print on a written agreement?

I'd better edit some photos,

Later

Wolf

Survey - Meeting the needs of British Veterans living with PTSD

2010-11-25T08:46:00.001Z

Morning

The main focus of this book (Words of a Wolf') is to raise awareness of what PTSD does to veterans and the hurdles that they face in their daily lives, as well as to offer some avenues of support.

With the current political climate of service cuts, I thought it prudent to try to get a snapshaot as to where the UK is with regards to caring for its veterans.

With this in mind, I've created an online, confidential, survey. The results will be used to present a report to relevant government departments.

I'd be greatful if you would pass the link for the survey as far and wide as possible. I need it to reach as many british veterans suffering with PTSD as possbile. If you belong to other groups/networks, please post this link. This is relelvant in other countries too in order to reach former residents that may be british veterans.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/SKSBL9S

Many thanks

Wolf

Visual art ...

2010-11-14T23:02:00.001Z

This new bath's deep. Much deeper than the other one. It's great for doing some physio and pain releif every morning.

It's also good for other things.

I was sat there enjoying the water when I saw these bubbles coming up ... ever so sloooowly from the depths of the bath. I remember sitting there thinking - 'Wow. Look at those bubbles, aren't they beautiful. Look how slowly they rise. Beautiful, almost mettalic.' My reflection on the art form continued until the first bubble hit the surface and burst ... literally. I then found myself trying to backstroke away from the immediate area quite quickly.

Later

Wolf

Forgotten Heroes ...

2010-11-14T11:04:00.006Z

Forgotten heroes

After the silence
After the stillness
After the lonely bugle has sounded

After march past
After the memories
After the door to those feelings close

They won't remember
In the halls of power
Behind their guarded mansion walls

That without your courage
They would have nothing
You who protected their lands

Whether you're in a cell
Or cardboard boxes
Or the prison of an emotional hell

Hold your head up
Wherever this day finds you
We remember your sacrifice

Poem © Copyright of V Sunkmanitu 2010

I finished this poem on the 11th hour this morning. People need to know that 15% of the prison population of this country are Veterans and while some may be there for crimes for which they've been righfully convicted, some are not - simply because they found themselves involved in circumstances whilst suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

25% of the homeless in this country are Veterans. People that served that found themselves unable to fit back in to society ... again some of which are suffering from PTSD.

Maybe you'll meet one sometime, selling the Big Issue or just an uncomfortable being that doesn't know how to share space with you because he or she is lost and alone ... maybe you'll think differently of them.

Interviewed by Left Lion ...

2010-11-11T20:14:00.000Z

Left Lion wanted to do a written interview as a follow up to their podcast ... you can see it on: http://www.leftlion.co.uk/articles.cfm/id/3275

All the best

Wolf

2 Minutes

2010-11-11T01:26:00.001Z

This poem is dedicated to all the Veterans of the Armed Forces of the United Kingdom and Allied Nations. It is especially dedicated to those that live with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, a condition that is still not that well understood in the UK and leads to further hardship for some of the brave souls that did their best for us.

2 minutes

During the 2 minutes you'll, maybe, remember some of us.
The years of silence our memories still sentence us to,
You'll forget.

The unspoken wound that can't be seen,
Carrying the memories of service,
You won't hear.

Standing tall, we'll walk by you,
Never showing the open wounds,
That cut like knives.

2 minutes later, You'll be back to your life.
2 minutes later, We'll still be trying to make sense of ours.
2 minutes later, another November morning will be forgotten.

Poem © Copyright of V Sunkmanitu 2010

So, you've had the message and the poem ... here's the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvE97zz5loc&feature=related

Later

Wolf

Hit and Miss ...

2010-11-04T13:55:00.000Z

How many veterans get the care and support that they actually need from the system?

Who are the care providers?

What different types of support are available?

I want to carry out a survey soon. I want to know what other veterans feel about these issues and to compile a report based on the findings. I think I saw a free survey site not long ago that allows you to do just this kind of thing.

In the main, the system provides some psychotherapy and nothing else. People living with PTSD may require more from the system though. We'll have to wait and see.

Wolf

Heightened anxiety over war pension review ...

2010-11-02T22:56:00.000Z

It's that time again. I get reviewed every two years at the moment and I don't know why. Maybe they're expecting a miracle cure that I haven't heard about yet. We've been doing this song and dance routine for 14 years now.

It freaks me out because I know that I'll have to open up old scars and have to examine the disability in detail, which isn't good as it makes me realise where I am now in terms of coping with the disability compared to where I was 2 years ago. There seems to be a noticeable decline.

They wanted me to go before one of their general doctors for an assessment re my symptoms and I refused. I told them that there were enough credible reports and that if they wanted me to be examined, it would have to be by a consultant psychiatrist. I never understood how the legal system ever allowed the word of a specialist providing you with treatment to be over shadowed by a generalist that isn't even qualified to work in mental health.

These are the traps that so many veterans fall into. No one supports them and they fall foul of the system's traps to reduce the amount of war pensions being paid out.

Luckily, I have a welfare officer coming to help me to list my daily symptoms and another report being completed by the counsellor that looked after me for the last 2 years.

I just want it all to be over ASAP.

Wolf

As the fog of morning clears ...

2010-10-29T10:26:00.003+01:00

I sit here, gathering my thoughts in the early light. There's always something being processed. I've been thinking a lot about the different forms of therapy available to veterans for PTSD, of which there aren't many. Most of the models of treatment offered by the NHS are inflexible. With the introduction of ICT platforms, you may now find yourself in front a PC for their initial tests that are used to assess your current status within your condition.

The NHS wants quick results, as do the MoD and therein lies the problem: the veterans that slip the net. The longer a veteran is floating around on the periphery of main stream society on his/her own, the less effective their treatment is going to be. If they've suffered any additional traumas in civilian life, the chances are that it'll compound the effect of their service related PTSD.

In my own case, I wasn't diagnosed for 12 years. In that time I adjusted to civillian life and learned to see to my own needs in general functions (work, accommodation etc). I faced hardships with regard to benefits etc as I didn't know I was entitled to claim certain things because of my disability. There were times when I couldn't afford to eat properly because of paying for my bedsit and bills. I became more flexible and open towards other points of view and ended up walking a path half way between the rigourous discipline of the armed forces and the some times chaotic lack of order of civvy street. I learned to look at things for myself and make my own assessments ... so an inflexible model of care from the NHS was never going to work.

I feel that those models MIGHT work very well for people with PTSD that are still serving, providing something's done about the stigma related to mental health issues in society as a whole, they may also work for people recently back into civvy street ... but for those thousands of unsupported veterans in society that struggle from day-to-day, it's of little use.

The thing that I need the most is someone to sit and talk to in a secure environment that understands the issues and won't press my triggers when we're discussing life arond PTSD. It takes a long time to build up that trust to be able to open up sufficiently to make the sessions of support useful. I recently came to the end of a 2 year counsellling arrangement with Nottingham Counselling Services. I'd been floating around Nottingham, looking for support since leaving Cornwall, only to find that I wasn't being listened to and that I seemed to know more about PTSD than the mental health practitioners I was initially being referred to. I also became aware of the fact that service related PTSD needs to be dealt with in a slightly different manner - simply because there's a different language and attitude involved. Very different ... and the implications of a practitioner saying something that could trigger a reaction leading to physical harm of the practitioner are very real. I eventually ended up in NCS after my GP told me of their existence. I called them up, went through a flexible assessment and was treated with care and dignity. It took a long time for me to open up on some issues to my counsellor, probably over a year. He gave me the listening ear that I needed and helped me to reflect on some of the issues that I was working through in my mind and I helped him learn about PTSD in veterans. NHS models of treatment don't allow for that time scale n the main. Most practitioners will have signed the patient off and moved on to the new list. The ones that allow you flexibility are very few. It takes time to establish trust when you've been conditioned to ignore all problems and function in the role assigned to you ... until you drop. You're conditioned to be part of a collective and you have your role to play. You don't put yourself first ... and you're ready to sacrifice yourself to save your mates.

This opens up another difficulty for the NHS. How do their practitioners get that experience and awareness? I can only think of one way - they carry out detatchments of 6 months or so working with currently enlisted troops on bases. They live the barrack life, they learn the barrack talk and they see what goes on for themselves. This just might make them a more effective practitioner, whether they're a psychologist, psychiatrist or CPN/Behavioural Therapist. The key to any successful therapy lies in the practitioner's ability to make an effective bridge between him/herself and the patient. If that can't be done, any treatment will be a waste of time ... and it will be met with the cold wall of defence ... and you won't penetrate it.

The other difficulty that the NHS has, as mentioned above, is that all treatment is time limited. Time became more of an issue with the NHS when hospital appraisals were first introduced on every aspect of operations - from assessments on the way they carried out treatment to the inner functions such as personnel and equal opportunities. Every function has a tick box and one of the criteria for assessment will be how many patients a hospital treats a year. Bascially, thanks to central government, our hospitals are having to play the numbers game in order to ensure their funding is secured. While, initially, this process may have helped some of the slacker hospitals and treatment centres to improve their operations ... I feel it can also be to the detriment of patients when administrators get caught up in the numbers game and forget that they're dealing with people ... and in the function of care to ailing people, time, kindness and dignity are very important factors.

As in all things led by a political society, we go from one extreme to the other, because people are too lazy, as a whole to put the effort into some sort of constant, acceptable, balanced perfomance. Our failing political system underlines this. Each new government blames the last for its current situation. It's about time we had a more representative form of government: If the people vote 28% tory, 25% labour, 19% liberal, 5% green - that is exactly what the make up of the government should be. It may take longer to reach an agreement on some issues ... but at least it would be a decision that more of us might be able to cope or be happier with.

If we could get that level of representational flexibilty in government, think of what benefits could be achieved in society as a whole if people were forced to consider more than their own agenda ... and were having to compromise for the sake of progress for the good of all?

If we had a good system of government with a high level of awareness ... coupled with a good system of flexible medical care .... would 15% of the prison population and 25% of homeless people in this country be veterans? For those of you that think only of Afghanistan and Iraq ... think further back because there are thousands of veterans that still need care and support. The government started talking about awarding the wounded the equivalent of a 'Purple Heart' to those wounded in service of their country. It'll take more than that to honour the Military Covenant ... but recognising the sacrifice would be a step in the right direction.

Wolf

It's a question of timing ...

2010-10-28T16:48:00.000+01:00

That's it ... no fine touches, no more DIY ... at least for another 3 years!!! It's stressful and I don't have the patience for it! I finished the staircase too, or as much as I'm going to do of it.

It's funny what comes in your mind as ideas. The stairway's a journey - sometimes I'm going up - sometimes down. I try to live and walk in a Black & White world and minimise the grey ... but the grey crops in and I'm out of control. I don't like the grey ... but I have to acknowledge its existence and try to work with it or around it ... or I'm screwed. Why don't I like the grey? It's the domain of politicians and others that don't want to tell someone a truth. It's a lot more ... but in the main, that's what it's come to mean to me.

Anyway ... see my foot on the grey? It took me 4 minutes to slowly climb 12 steps! Can you believe that it took that long? It's because there's some fresh wet paint around the tiles. So, I have to think about something - should I learn to levitate as quickly as possible - in case I need a piss urgently? This is a very taxing decision. Damn, just writing that thought's made me want to go and use the loo.

I'm going to have some takeaway food tonight - I'd better be waiting for it or they'll disappear - WITH my food if I take 4 minutes to go down the steps!!!

So, back to editing photos and writing tonight ... sigh, at last ....

later

Wolf

The bathroom's finished!

2010-10-28T11:22:00.000+01:00

Hoo-bloody-rah!

It was only ever supposed to be the bathroom that was being re-done. Somehow it grew into a job that took on the hallway too.

BUT ... the bathroom's done and it's looking lovely, if I say so myself. I won't post any close-ups though - that way the blemishes stay hidden ;o)

Have a good one.

Wolf

Fatigue sets in ...

2010-10-26T22:50:00.000+01:00

'You're soooo lucky. You go on holiday all the time!' I get tired of hearing that. I can't remember the last time that I had a holiday. I do feel fortunate to have witnessed some of the things that I have seen though.

My trips are about using creativity to cope with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's therapeutic, but very hard work for me. Every journey presents its own challenges, physical, mental and spiritual. By going to different countries I push myself to the limits of my endurance with regards to the physical pain in parts of my body. Most of the time I carry a 12kg camera bag packed with photographic equipment and some survival equipment, just in case something bad happens or a situation develops that I need to get myself out of. Pushing my boundaries is an important part of my coping mechanism. If I didn't push, I'd give in to the PTSD ... and cease to exist.

There's a price though. After every trip I end up completely drained. The pain levels are high and it takes quite a while for my body to re-charge. But that's ok ... because I achieved my objective, survived another trip of pushing myself ... and brought back some images.

You won't find me lounging by the side of a pool ... simply because I don't go on holidays.

As rememberance day approaches, my thoughts turn to my friends that have served and the lads that I have met at 'Combat Stress'. I find myself wondering how they are ... whether they're coping ok, making poppies and having a bit of banter or subdued having opened up to their individual trauma counsellors. Some of the art created by the guys using the Occupational Therapy centre is amazing. I used to like sitting there, making some poppies and having a laugh with the guys ... and also enjoyed watching the guys paint and sculpt various things ... lost in the moment of creativity ... temporarily freed from their personal hell.

I remember their solemn faces as we've sat in groups and talked things out together ... seeing the struggle within etched on their faces ... yet getting strength from each other ... knowing that you're amongst brothers, where there's no shame or judgment ... just the fight to open up the valves and let some of the crap out so that we can go back to our isolated existences and carry on doing whatever it is that we do - until the next time we need more release in a nurturing, safe, secure environment.

I don't know when my next trip is - I wanted it to be this week as one of my friends is there and we support each other outside of the therapy sessions and have a laugh too. Strange isn't it? We sit and talk about our pain and the things that we go through and yet we still laugh. Sometimes we laugh so hard that our sides hurt - really badly! Whatever we may have lost on those various areas of duty, our sense of humour wasn't one of them. We'd be doomed without it. It's kind of like a last line of defence. If we stop laughing, then something bad's about to happen. Sometimes we just use the laughter to hide our pain and experiences ... I guess it can be difficult for a civillian to know what's going on inside a veteran's mind. Sometimes, we don't even know, we're just too busy coping and surviving ... that's the current battle and it's a tiring one.

Nothing much seems to have happened with regards to raising funds for the proposed exhibition through selling the book - 'Words of a Wolf - Poetry of a Veteran'. BBC Radio Nottingham interviewed me about the book the other day - you can hear the interview on: http://www.wolf-photography.com/html/woaw/woaw.html. I sincerely hope that some other agencies/organisations will help to raise awareness about this project. The book needs to generate enough capital to run a national rolling exhibtion of poetry and photography to raise awarness of PTSD in veterans, demonstrate the use of creative therapies as a coping mechanism and sign post sufferers and their relatives to agencies that can help them.

I'm not sure what the position is with Waterstones at the moment with regards to the selling of my book as Gardners, their main distributor, aren't being clear with me as to what's going on. I'm assuming the original buying contract is still in operation ... but it's different to being on Gardner's distribution list. A lack of contacts doesn't help the situation ... and the PTSD presents enough barriers to keep me out of the loop most of the time.

I'm hoping to have all the images from Malta and Egypt ready for publishing on my website (http://www.wolf-photography.com/) this week - including the images from the film set of 'Game of thrones'.

Later

Wolf

Another day ...

2010-10-20T23:31:00.001+01:00

I'm sat lost in the fog of generated by the recent trip to Cairo - 6 days of no sleep and walking in the heat to photograph the various sites of the city and its surrounding areas.

My body craves food at the moment but I'm being careful as I don't want to go the other way with regard to food intake - having had very little food in Cairo.

Some of the hunger is that seasonal trigger that my body presses to insulate a little for the winter. My body knows that I always try to get to some snow and ice ... so it's preparing for the cold.

Today was a day of mixed emotions. I'm still decorating my bathroom and the builders have been in again to do the last bit of garden wall in the front - which should be finished tomorrow. I always feel a little invaded when work people are around and I get very stressed when they leave mess behind. When I got back home from Cairo, the first thing I did was scrub the bathroom floor as the builders had left wet brick dust and rubbed it into the floor. Added to that they managed to crack 2 bathroom tiles and chip my new bath. So I'm not best pleased with them at the moment ... but it's best to let them finish their work altogether before we have a reckoning regarding the damage.

I was also interviewed re my book today by BBC Radio Nottingham (http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p00bknlm/Richard_Spurr_Author_Heather_Watson_the_Ladies_Networking_Group_and_Bill_Tarmey/) and was greatful that the interviewer was sensetive to my needs. There wasn't enough time to raise awareness of the fact that the funds from book sales will go towards putting on a National Exhibtion though and that 25% of any profits will go the creative arts area of the Occupational Therapy unit at Combat Stress.

I also setup a private blog today for my my son, daughter and myself, so that we can share thoughts and feelings with each other. My daughter wrote some poetry recently and my son sent me a short story. I was impressed by both of their efforts, so much so that I hope they will both continue writing something in some way, so as to maintain and develop that skill.

My thanks to those of you that dropped me an email when you couldn't see the links to my 'Bio' and 'Blog' on my website. I disable them when travelling to countries that the Home Office list as a high risk of terrorist activity. I travel as a journalist then and no as a 'Veteran'. The links are enabled again.

My eye lids are heavy and I feel the darkness of the den calling. Time for the wolf to sleep ...

Goodnight

Images of Cairo ...

2010-10-17T22:29:00.001+01:00

I was thinking about Cairo as I walked back to the hotel tonight. I was watching a plastic bag do a circular dance in a corner as it rode the breeze and just let myself feel Cairo in an open way ... and I'm left with a mixture of feelings about the place as a whole.

Like so many tourist locations, litter's a real problem. Pollution is another. If you suffer from asthma or any other chest condition, I would seek the advice of your doctor before travelling. I only used bottled water for drinking and brushing my teeth and stayed away from salads and ice. I tried some local food and found it to be delicious ... but my appetite was much reduced owing to the heat. I survived on sugar can juice and fruit in the main. If you buy fruit, make sure the skin is in tact and wash the fruit with your bottled water before eating it.

I didn't feel much of anything around the pyramids in a spiritual sense, actually, that's not true. I felt that whatever was there has been raped, desecrated and sold to the material world ... and maybe even that the interference that other cultures have inflicted on the pyramids have, in some way, interfered with an important process on a spiritual plane. It's just a feeling I get whenever I see the pyramids ... they're just empty shells now. It didn't feel right to visit the tombs.

Cairo is a thriving city that depends on the tourism industry to a degree. I saw every type of shop I'd expect to see in a western city with regards to manufacturing etc. The shops were full of equipment but there wasn't that much evidence of actual sales. Food and clothing seem to be the most frequented shops. Hearing the Muslim's call to prayer around the noise of traffic and music from different counties was a surreal experience. I'm not sure what percentage of the population practise which religions but they seem to be able to co-exist peacefully. From my own experience of terrorism, it's the minority that tend to make problems for the majority.

The hawkers and guides can be a pain in the rectum and some of them try to engage you in conversation very skillfully. Seen 'Jaws'? Well, if you're the tourist, you're shark food. Everything has to be haggled for. The amount of businesses that will offer you, the tourist, a fair price for a product are very few indeed. Get a map and ask other tourists about where they've eaten etc. I only used the black cabs here. The white cabs boast having air conditioning but they'll charge you more to turn it on. I flagged down black cabs, negotiated the fare and THEN got in. Don't get into a cab first without negotiating. Some of the drivers will offer you smokes, tissues to wipe your sweaty brow or other things - refuse everything ... or they'll charge you for it at the end of the ride.

The Old City, the Pharoanic Village and the Sufi dance in the old city are highly recommended. If you want to see the pyramids, hire a driver and negotiate a fair price. I tend to stop a lot on sighting something interesting to photograph, so I don't mind paying a little more than the going rate. Don't go above 220 Egyptian Pounds for such a trip and remember that you still have to pay the entrance fees for the various sites you'll visit, as well as the car parking fee for your ride. If you want to see all the pyramids in one day - start very early - 6:30am and head to Dahshur first, then Saqqara and finally the pyramids of Giza.

Accommodation prices can vary greatly depending on your requirements. I used the African Hostel, located at 15, Emad Eldeen Street. It's central, cheap and has hot and cold running water. It's basically a youth hostel. I paid 899 Egyptian Pounds for my 6 night stay (around 99.00 GBP) for a double room with an en-suite shower and toilet.

Would I visit Cairo again? Yes, but in the winter!

Later

Wolf

Last day in Cairo ...

2010-10-17T08:52:00.000+01:00

Talk about 'Sod's Law'! It's the last day in Cairo, my body looks like the mosquitoes have had a batchelor party on it BUT there's actually a cool breeze flowing across the city and the temprature has to be about 10 C lower than it has been over the last few days.

I've got some bird watching arranged on the Nile today and hope to get some shots of the various species frequenting the area.

Later

Wolf

Old Cairo ...

2010-10-16T23:40:00.000+01:00

I took it easy today ... or tried to. It seems to be getting hotter here. Apparently the heatwave is coming over from the Saudi Arabia area - I wouldn't like to be there! The heat's still draining me ... but there's only another day to go and I get back to some colder weather - yeah!

I explored the old city today - some of it looks like a bomb hit it. There's real poverty in this part of town but it's also a thriving arts area. You'll find all sorts of things from Bedouin jewelry to Sufi concerts.

I went to a Sufi concert tonight and it was AMAZING! Wow, what an energy these performers generated. I couldn't help but move to the music, so I'm not expecting any miracles with regards to the photos as I was a bit too far away from them and it was quite dark. The dancing was so awe inspiring and I could see some of the guys zoning out as they hit that place where a person becomes one with their art. I want to find some of their music to bring back on a CD. The only music shop I found in Central Cairo didn't have any.

So, time to have a cold shower and see if I can sleep a little.

Later

Wolf

Heat exhaustion ...

2010-10-15T21:17:00.000+01:00

I met a decent fella called Drago from Russia. I think he'd get on great with Mat and Wolf Jnr too as travelling companions. The heat exhaustion's been creeping up on me slowly as each day drains more of my reserves. Today was really bad.

Drago and I went to visit the pyramids around Cairo. I hired a driver and we went from site to site. Drago got his high from being at one with the monuments and I went around trying to shoot what I can. The light in the area is awful. If you're going to carry out any photography at the pyramids, I strongly recommend that you take the following filters: A circular polariser and a neutral density filter.

I was so drained by the afternoon that I couldn't even get to the Sphinx to photograph it before the light became unworkable for the site. Perhaps I'll do that on a free day before flying back. I'm pretty sure that my body won't cope with a day at Luxor on Sunday, so I've cancelled that part of the trip. Instead I'm going to try to get the necessary minerals etc back into my body and do some gentle photography over the last couple of days here.

Time to drink more water and get some rest.

Later

Wolf

Thursday ... Pharaonic Village ...

2010-10-14T18:26:00.003+01:00

It seems that the days are getting continually hotter. I'm still finding conflicting information re some sites that I want to photograph and most places seem to be closing around 4:30pm.

I decided to head to the Pharaonic Village today. I heard about it from the hotel staff and it sounded interesting, 'A place where they recreated life in the time of the Pharos.' I have to admit to being a bit cynical about the setup as a lot of people will recommend so many things that turn out to be a pile of last year's stale mince pies ... BUT I was pleasantly surprised.

I would say that there is a gap with regards to viewing past Egyptian culture and the Pharaonic Village fills it nicely. The place is setup to demonstrate methods of farming, perfume making, fishing, wine and beer making as well as various arts and crafts of the Egyptians. All the actors are in traditional costumes and the whole tour is carried out by boat on the River Nile. But wait ... there's a bonus! You'll also see various birds flying around and some even hunting small fish right in front or to the side of your boat. If you're a birder you can't miss this trip and make sure you've packed your camera gear and get a seat on the front row.

They have also created scaled models of various scenes: moving an obelisk, creating a pyramid and the Sphinx and unlike the Cairo museum, here you can take photos ... with flash photography if you want to.

You will find replicas of items such as Tutenkhamun's Mask, various treasures found in tombs as well as a replica tomb, complete with a Pharo to view.

In the arts and crafts area you can watch glass blowing and fine etchings being created before your very eyes and you have the option to purchase items such as jewelry and other items should you desire them.

The shots will be in a specific album named after the village in the travel section when I get home.

Their website is: http://www.pharaonicvillage.com/, go and visit them. You won't be sorry, especially if you're into photography.

Tomorrow, the pyramids!

Later

Wolf

Hectic Tuesday ...

2010-10-13T10:27:00.001+01:00

The bathroom was finally tiled and all the bits and pieces attached to the walls. I had just enough time to shave and change before the taxi arrived to begin the journey to Cairo.

Things went smoothly until I got to Heathrow Airport. I went to use the loo for a number one situation but my zip handle/lever/tag (?) came apart in my fingers and I couldn't undo the zip AND I had about 20 minutes before the flight started boarding! The security team came to the rescue. A bloke lent me his leathermans tool - but the clasp broke completely. A female security operative gave me her key ring, so I could thread it through the little hole ... it was hard going. The following conversation took place: 'I can't get it in,' I said with a grin, 'I might need a hand.' She replied, 'Is it too big?'

I said, 'It's tight, can you help me get in?' The three of us cracked up laughing, I walked off and managed to take a leak and then went and boarded my flight.

It was dark when we landed in Cairo, so there was no initial impression, apart from the heat. I saw a couple of mosques lit up on the way to the hotel but nothing else. This morning, I had a little walk around the area and found it to be hot, dusty and crowded with cars more than people on foot.

If you want to photograph people and culture here, it's going to have to be from a distance with a big lens as most people here have an aversion to being photographed.

One strange thing so far is that the bottled water here tastes the same as the bottled water in India, which is a little worrying! The streets don't smell anywhere near as bad though.

Time to find some information re things I want to photograph here.

Later

Wolf

Tiling fiasco ...

2010-10-09T22:34:00.000+01:00

The bathroom saga continues ... I tried to tile some of the wall myself and got myself well and truly wound up. I'd gone through 5 tiles before I remembered how to use the cutter properly. Then I got it right but got the cuts wrong size wise. I eventually got the hang of it but I couldn't get the tiles to line up properly with the spacers and after about an hour and a half of farting about I drew on some wisdom ... 'it's not worth getting further stressed over. Accept that you can't do this task and tidy up.' And that's precisely what I did.

I'm going to have a bath now and try to unwind some more.

Time to do some floating ....

Later

Wolf

DIY Expert ... not!

2010-10-08T15:55:00.003+01:00

I'm soooo good at DIY that Tim Allen wouldn't have employed me in an episode of 'Home Improvements'. Ok, I'm so crap at DIY that Tim Allen wouldn't have employed me in an episode of 'Home Improvements'.

If you saw my handy work downstairs from when I moved in, you'd understand. The paint work hasn't been tidily 'cut in' as much as ... (hold on, trying to find the right word...) caked on in places. No straight lines exist in this parallell universe. well not with regards to decorating.

Actually, I did notice that the house builders didn't own protactors or set squares. There aren't many correct right angles etc. I wonder if I inherited their ability to balls things like that up?

Hmm ... no. I can't blame them. Besides, my kids'll bubble me. They still take great delight in telling people about the cock up I made when I was laying down some network cable for their computers. The hole that was supposed to have appeared in the cupboard under the stairs miraculously appeared in the kitchen ceiling. I never bothered filling the hole up as I knew it made them laugh.

So, I've got this new bath. It was supposed to be here on Tuesday but ended up arriving Wednesday ... at 6:30am. I wanted a bigger bath to help me with my pain relief and found one that will allow me to have my legs straight in the bath ... and float!! I tried it this morning and couldn't believe it. I felt like a kid swimming for the first time. I felt like shouting to someone - 'HEY! Look at me - I'm FLOATING in my BATH!' No one was here though, so I thought I'd share it with you instead.

I finished varnishing the panel I made for it. I put some bits of cladding together and varnished it with some waterproof satin finish stuff. I've just finished painting the walls. Next job will be to tile the walls. I did some tiling a loooong time ago. It turned out ok and NONE of the tiles fell off. So I'm going to have a go here too. The more simple stuff I do now, the less I get charged by the pros.

I have a feeling I'll be having different dreams tonight as the varnish dries on the panel!

Later

Wolf

Lee the Lion ...

2010-10-06T15:34:00.000+01:00

I met Lee a few years ago when he was visiting London on his honeymoon with WhiteEagle. Indirectly, he taught me an important lesson. You only have 1 father and 1 mother - if it doesn't work out between the 3 of you - tough - get on with the rest of your life.

Lee's the sort of friend you can sit in a bar with or walk a mountain with. He's nearing the end of his journey on this plane owing to cancer.

The first time we met, I could see he was very tired ... but a friend had arranged that we go to a function. I said we'd go along there by bus and the ladies could go by car. It gave Lee a chance to rest. We sat on the door step together and he rolled a ciggie and we just talked. It was the first time that I had talked with an elder this way and he was genuinely interested in my journey and kept asking me questions about various aspects of it. It felt as if we'd always talked and this was a continuation of our last chat ... perhaps from a different time.

I remember sitting in a sweat lodge with him at a ceremony. It was WhiteEagle's Elderhood ceremony. It was my first sweat lodge. We all linked hands and sang the old songs in the darkness of the lodge, the drum echoing the beat of the Earth Mother outside as we sat in her womb. We sang and we bonded as brothers, fathers and sons. We couldn't see the man to our left or right, the darkness was complete and the mist from the sacred stones filled any gaps ... but I knew who had my left hand - the hand of my heart. It was Lee.

This is the way that I'll think of him: the guy that gave me the ear of a father without being mine. A guy with a big heart and an open soul.

He told me that I had to go and walk the mountain paths of Nepal ... I did it Lee :o)

Wishing you love and peace mate ... and a gentle passing to the new path.

SnowMoon Wolf

Impressions of Malta ... and some tips if you're visitng there ...

2010-10-05T14:02:00.003+01:00

It's a hot place, temprature wise. By the time I'd finished shooting on days out, I felt that familiar drain on my body's resources that I experienced in India last year.

The island has a particular odour that lingers in many parts that you can small in the water and the air. My feeling was that it's related to pollution issues and it's just one of those things about living on an island.

When I look back at the time spent there one energy/feeling comes clearly to mind and that is of either being in a state of seige or of repelling intruders. I guess when you've fulfilled a particular role for so long, it's hard to change that energy.

Politically, Malta's inclusion into the EU was a necessary one for issues of security, detection of drug movements and stopping the odd terrorist or three from moving on to their target destinations from the island, having used the island as a drop off point. Malta's population is roughly 40,000 but they allow up to 1000 immigrants into the country per annum. The reasons are the usual mix that we have here ranging from people seeking their fortune to those seeking political asylum for various issues.

In terms of a location for photography it's fairly repetetive. It's mainly a collection of forts and churches. However, if you want to photograph some mediterranean blue in the water, it's a good location. I didn't try any underwater photography there but have heard many reports from other visitors of the diversity and beauty of the underwater life surrounding the islands. Most of the museums etc don't allow tripods and flash photography.

The easiest way to get around is by bus. A week's pass will cost you just over 13 euros and you can get from one end of the island to the other in about an hour. Be cautious when travelling in groups though - check the bus - if it looks full, wait for the next one as some drivers won't wait for you to try to get off if some of your friends can't get on.

Use bottled mineral water for drinking and brushing your teeth. It's also worth taking sachets of minerals to replace the stuff you'll probably sweat out of your system. If you start getting cramps in limbs it's a sign that you need those minerals and electrolytes topping up urgently.

There's a wide range of food available, everything from McDonalds to indian, as well as some traditional maltese restaurants. The local fish is affordable and tasty too. Check around for the competition price wise, they all have menu boards on the street.

If you run out of euros, it's easy enough to get more as there are plenty of cash machines on the island.

It's worth seeing the islands of Comino and Gozo. Gozo is accessible by a regular ferry that'll cost you 4.50 euros for a return journey and you can use buses there too. Comino is a very small place that has one fort but is a good place to take a break and enjoy a swim in the lagoon.

If you're going to any fireworks displays, be cautious and keep your distance as there are more fatalities related to fireworks than road accidents on the islands.

The local language sounds like a mixture of italian and arabic. Most people speak english though and you should be able to get about ok.

Make sure you pick up a free bus routes map in Valletta from the bus terminus. Valletta is the country's capital and administrative centre.

Other places worth a visit are: Mdina, Rabat, Marsaxlokk, Mosta and Birgu. St Pauls Bay is a nice quiet area to stay in. If you're into nightlife etc, head for Paceville. Buses stop earlier after the main season finishes though and taxis can be expensive.

I'm still editing the shots but it shouldn't take that long before they're posted.

cheers

Wolf

Malta day 1 (photography wise)

2010-09-27T10:01:00.002+01:00

Ok so this is technically day 2 but I'm writing about day 1. Hmmmm ... no hold on. It's really day 3 because I got here in the middle of the night on Saturday. Confused? Try being me!

Anyway. It's warm here ... very warm. The people are friendly and tolerant of tourists, as you'd expect in a country where tourism is the major source of income. The best way to get around is by bus. You can buy a 7 day pass for 13 Euros and that covers your travelling expenses for the most part. The downside being that the buses stop running around 9:30pm in some areas and then the cabs take over. All the buses have air-conditioning as standard - they all drive around with the passenger door open.

My initial feeling on seeing parts of Malta was that it still looks like a garrison island. It's a big collection of forts and churches ... so many churches that they actually outnumber the branches of McDonalds on the island.

I photographed parts of Valletta and Medina yesterday. A combination of colour and B&W images. Part way through I stumbled onto the film set of a forthcoming film called 'The Game of Thrones'. At least I think that was the name. I think my memory got an upgrade from hoover to dyson - sucks big time now.

I was very surprised to see a large shoal of fish resembling neon tetras in one of the inlets and regret not bringing the underwater housing and a wetsuit to do some marine life photography. I'm not sure that they were neons though as the I'm assuming the Mediterranean Sea would be salty and neons are a fresh water fish from the Amazon. Unless of course - someone released some here.

There's a distinct lack of wildlife on the island. The migration season has started and this island is one of the stop off points for many species but I haven't been able to find out where they may be exactly. I'm assuming that locals that are animal friendly will be keeping them a secret as around 50% of the population have a reputation for hunting (web research only so don't take the percentage as gospel).

Rain has stopped play today. I need to go and suss out a good sheltered spot for later though as there's a thunderstorm due and it'd be cool to get some lightning shots.

Have a good one.

Wolf

Like a jellyfish caught in the current of an ocean storm ...

2010-09-23T21:13:00.001+01:00

I'm adrift, floating aimlessly between memories that seem to emerge randomly ... without warning. I watch the strands of my past tie themselves to my present and understand the patterns. Every now and then there's a shaft of light emerging from the cloud of my subconscious mind allowing for a moment of enlightenment that I have to somehow record before my ailing memory allows it to disappear as whispy smoke between my fingers.

It gets frustrating as I sit within myself and contemplate the lesson, only to emerge a while later, feeling like I've just sat in a timless bubble for a few hours ... having forgotten the moment.

I keep telling myself to sit with a pen and a pad and to write these ideas down ... but that can cause more frustration, as I keep forgetting ... and I refuse to be hard on myself, as that is one lesson that I have learned and remembered ... that I have to be kinder to myself.

The more that I explore my journey, the more I understand myself, my ideals and my reasons for taking this path. The more that I remember the hurdles that I've cleared, the more I accept and respect my 'self'.

I wish this part of the journey was more easy going though ... or is it and I'm less able to cope with the hurdles now?

Wolf

Scent ...

2010-09-16T19:11:00.003+01:00

A smell ... or scent, can put me in the past or in an alternative state. I felt that today as the rich particles of a particular being wafted up the old nose box. My red roses have opened and there's something that I can't put into words about the scent. It crosses boundaries of culture and religion, used by different faiths for different things - all positive uses as far as I'm aware. It's come to represent love ... and when I smell the red roses in my garden, it's the one word, feeling and purpose that flashes up inside of me.

Happy Thursday folks

Wolf

Yesterday in the garden ...

2010-09-10T09:43:00.001+01:00

As the finishing touches go on to the lump of tarmac and concrete that was the garden past, I'm enjoying the garden present more and more.

I cleared out the kickbag station yesterday and will get part of it attached to an external wall for when I feel like a workout. The rest of it is lying in the front garden, waiting for a scrap metal merchant to claim and recycle it for something. I then moved the sofa bed down to the conservatory from my bedroom, which has left the bedroom feeling 'clear'.

The second of the 3 wind chimes arrived yesterday, so that's been fixed up and makes a nice contrast to the delicate metal chimes of the 1st one ... this one being made of bamboo.

All of the roses are opening now and their beautiful scents waft through the garden attracting what ever they need to. There are a lot more bees in the garden at the moment and a lot of other buds are forming and opening as the plants settle down after having been re-potted. It doesn't matter how gentle you are with plants, it's still got to affect them when their roots are touched.

After doing the moving around I sat on the sofa bed, tuned out the traffic from the main road and just watched the birds and bees until sleep took me ... and had a lovely nap.

It feels as though I've finally claimed this space as my 'home'.

Wolf

It's nothing personal ... just the politics of dancing ...

2010-09-09T00:15:00.002+01:00

I was talking to a couple of the guys at salsa and it was interesting to hear other guys saying the same things about some of the ladies that we dance with. I think that a lot of the guys that do dance salsa and bachata tend to be on the sensetive side and that's lost on some of the ladies ... and it comes across in their attitudes on the dance floor.

So this is my way of saying, 'don't worry mate - just dance with someone that wants to dance with you'. ;o)

You'll meet all sorts. Some will blame you for not leading well, even though they're not interpreting the tune and thinking for themselves as to whether the beat will allow them one spin or two at a given spot. Some will literally clash with you on the floor - hence bumping uglies - literally. Some will bounce and prance and forget that the extra bits of jiggling take more time if you don't compensate for them with a bit more speed ... and they'll end up out of sync with you. Some won't appreciate that you're coreographing the moves on the fly for both of you ... and that you are actually leading, as well as keeping them safe from collisions ... and that you need your dance partner to be in a particular place at a particular time ... or you're going to be out of time (for which you might be blamed ... again) BUT ...

Every now and then you'll meet beginners that have some natural ability and will be grateful for a chance to practise new things with you ... but THE best thing to happen on that floor is when you meet those dancers that move in perfect sync with you. They know the music, the timing, their own bodies and capabilities .. and the dance flows between you both ... and that's chemistry! Two souls become one, lost in the music - smiling, grinning, laughing ... and even if you do make a mistake. you both laugh it off and get back in sync really quickly. Dance for those moments ... and try not to be put off by the other events? Remember the dance isn't just about being able to lead, it's also about the woman's ability to follow ;o) You can't get on with everyone in the world, there are so many different personalities out there ... so don't expect to get on with everyone when you dance ...

wolf

Finishing touches to the garden ...

2010-09-06T20:30:00.002+01:00

The door bell rang at 6:45am ... I just got up assuming that I'd slept in and opened the garden gate for the courier and took delivery of the flatpack containing my garden bench. I then had a bath, smudged, did some meditation and put the bench together and waited for lunch to turn up.

I watched a couple of episodes of the Cosby show with lunch and then went and had a look at the garden. Something wasn't right ... and an idea started to form about the rear segment of the garden, which was looking pretty shabby compared to the rest of the space there. Hmm ... what if I get a couple of panel fences and just section that bit off? I could just get concrete blocks - attacj (I believe that's polish for 'attach') brackets to the wooden panels and slide them between the stacks of concrete blocks - and voila - an instant screen! That's exactly what I did. The hedgehog house is behind the partition, affording them total privacy, should they decide to use it. I even shoved some fresh hay in there today.

Being quite an accomplished DIY buff, the panels weren't level and have an inverted 'V' between them ... what the hell - I hid that behind the winter jasmine. I also put the garden bench and the chimenea on paving slabs to protect them from accumulating rainwater and put their protective covers on them.

Lastly, I moved some of the plants around to finish off the rear portion of the garden.

Not much more to be done there now :o) I'm tired and sore .. but happy.

Hope you're ok too.

Wolf

Squirrel mayhem ...

2010-09-04T18:00:00.000+01:00

I was out in the garden yesterday afternoon, enjoying the peace and energy of it. The sun had dropped behind the trees and that's the time I usually water the plants. All of a sudden a mother squirrel and a baby drop to the floor in front of me! The mother climbed up the fence and took off like a shot ... me and the baby just sort of stood looking at eachother. Eventually it came nearer and then went past me into the garden ... which was fine by me because I could keep an eye on it until the mother found a way to get it out of here - it couldn't climb the fence yet.

Then there was some commotion next door and I found another baby being 'ahh'ed at by Edna and her visitor. I coaxed it into my garden so that both siblings were together and then tried to catch it to put it up on the fence so that they could both follow their mother ... no joy though. So, eventually, I just left them to it. There were no blood trails or carcasses this morning, so I assume the neighbouring feline population didn't dine on them.

Isn't it a bit late for squirrels to breed?

Hope you're having a good Saturday ...

Wolf

Project 'Prickly' ...

2010-09-02T18:23:00.002+01:00

I've gotten into the habit of visitng my garden in the dark to feel the calm stillness punctuated by a simulation of a tiny flickering candle. It just feels nice and you don't really see that much .. just the ghost of what you saw earlier as the colours leave a footprint in your subconscious mind.

A shape caught my attention that was out of place - darker than it's surroundings and unfamiliar. I wondered what it was and walked around to the other side of the garden. This activated one of the security lights and I saw what it was ... curled up asleep on the floor by the bird feeding station was a hedgehog. It eventually woke up because of the light and then scurried off to hide behind some of the new plant pots.

So ... today, I built a little hibernation space for it in the hope that it will use it. I think hedgehogs hibernate .. don't they?

I made it from off cuts that I bought for a fiver from a local builder. Glued and screwed the bits together and then bought a couple of paving slabs for its foundation. Lastly, I got all the bits of pine needles and dead twigs etc and pile it all over the structure for insulation. I'm just waiting for the half pipe entrance to solidify now and then I'll cover that up to with dead twigs etc.

I don't know if I should feed it though as I think I saw one chewing on a huge slug and I'd rather it kept my garden clear of them for the sake of my plants.

Time to find some food for myself ...

later

Wolf

Progress with the garden ...

2010-08-31T10:08:00.000+01:00

It's as if the garden was the latest thing to come to my aid. Immersed in the care of situating the new beings that I share this space with, I subconciously process the issues wandering around in the corridors of my past.

Yesterday morning, the sparrowhawk that I've seen now and then alighted onto my garden fence and sat looking up into the recently trimmed fir trees - then just like a shot- it flew up and in after a bird ... but missed. It then moved up to the top and sat there, surveying the area, on the hunt for breakfast.

I rang my neighbour, Edna, as I often do when something different comes into the garden, so that she can go upstairs and see it too but her phone was engaged. I told her about it though. Edna's 88 now and doesn't get out much and I felt like going to the garden centre again, so I took her wih me and we wandered around there for a bit before taking her for lunch at the carvery.

When I got home, I did a little bit of tidying in the garden and then sat out to be warmed by the rays of 'GrandFather Sun'. The birds have started trusting me more and more seem to still come to the feeders as I sit and watch them. It was good to see the many colourful flying insects too as they harvested the pollen from the various flowers.

I got up later and watered the garden before going indoors, only to emerge at dusk to see the light's coming on and bathing the garden in an atmosphere reminiscent of an old world where there was more nature and less man.

The new plants and trees will be here today or tomorrow. I'm looking forward to making them welcome and finding spaces that will suit their tempraments ... then I'll start photographing them for you :o)

Wolf

Stuart's Dream ...

2010-08-30T10:23:00.001+01:00

Some things take time to become visible to the individual, especially personal hurdles. They remain misted in the parts of our mind that don't go and examine those memories related to that time and we end up in a loop, creating the same patterns over and over again.

Stuart's dream reminds of that pattern now, the pattern of my life.

All it took was an unhappy childhood to create a seed of low self worth in my psyche. The seed grew and blossomed about the time that I was posted to Northern Ireland. It manifested itself in one way. It generated a belief: my life wasn't as valuable as someone that was loved, that had family that cared about them or had a sweetheart.

The lonliness and awkwardness of my childhood and teenage years became the fertiliser, literally. A thought emerges as my fingers tap the keys of my keyboard ... I was 19 when I went to Northern Ireland ... still a boy. This lack of self worth made me do things in a certain way. I'd take risks. If there was ever anything dodgy to do, I'd volunteer. I didn't care what it was because I'd rather have lost my life than that of a brother that had family or a loved one ... or a family. Simply because having grown up with non of those things, I knew how valuable they were ... and I couldn't bear the thought of one of my brothers or their families being hurt through that sort of loss. When I look back over my childhood, I can clearly see that from the age of 6 onwards I had no family, they and what little love there may have been fell away slowly as rose petals leaving the bare head containing the seed ... and the seed was one of self sacrifice.

The guys that I served with and got on well with were everything to me ... they were my friends and they were my family. Some of their names have drifted away, lost in the corridors of my mind ... but I still see their faces, hear the banter and see them laughing as we'd share jokes and take the piss out of eachother, some times in the most unlikely situations.

I still miss them ... especially one man in particular. Dave. I met him at RAF St Mawgan in Cornwall and we hit it off straight away. We had a very similar sense of humour and often spent time together off duty. Dave felt more like a brother than my sibling. He followed me out to Northern Ireland and we became room mates out there. He always had some thought provoking music. We'd talk before bed time about what ever was on our minds, if we felt like it. Sometimes we'd just take the piss and laugh out loud as we lay in our bunks. Dave would always play one album before bed time, the last song of that album before we'd say goodnight to eachother was 'Brothers in Arms' ... and as I'd go to sleep I knew I was there with my brother.

Dave went on to become a teacher and has worked in Africa too. The last I heard, he was in Liverpool. The last time that I saw him was before he went to Africa. He came down to meet me and my son and partner at the time. I loved that day and treasure the memory of it. Me, Dave and Joshua at the beach. It was like watching my son with an uncle, providing a feeling of family for me as I watched them play in the oceanic waters of the Atlantic at Porthtowan Beach.

I miss you David Clark ... I miss my friend and my brother.

The pattern of self sacrifice carried on after the RAF Police. It was ever present when I served in the Metropolitan Police, then in the Citizens Advice Bureax that I'd served at and lastly where I worked in the NHS as a union rep. If you don't value your own existence, death has no hold over you with regard to fear. If you have nothing in your life that someone can touch because everything that you loved has left or moved away, you become an island ... the bosses find it harder to intimidate you then ... particularly if you're a fighter. So what started as a seed of fate turned into a weapon.

That's why I couldn't let myself fly the car Stuart, there were still battles to be fought for other people. I'm free of those commitments now but I find myself fighting a different battle today. I fight for myself ... and I'm not good at it. It's early days yet though and I'm learning to love and value myself, trying to balance through the solitude and peaks and troughs around my life with PTSD ... but I'll fly your car one day my friend ... my brother.

Wolf

Salsa tonight ...

2010-08-26T01:18:00.003+01:00

It was a good night tonight. No awkward ladies on the floor and a good crowd. I really needed it. My body's complaining now with pain in different areas ... I'll address that in the morning with a nice hot bath.

I got to thinking about death related stuff after reading Mat's blog entry about his Uncle. Seems when you get to your 40s you start hearing about a lot more of it. It's different though ... different to the death we used to hear about as youngsters. It reminded me of the last passing over of a soul that I'd witnessed. It was my friend Stuart. He'd survived a bomb blast in Northern Ireland but had then contracted MS.

He was a really kind and supportive friend and he did a lot for me ... much more than anyone that I've known in civvy street. I remember our last conversation as the clock ticked away his last hours with us on this plane. We discussed death and spirituality. He told me of a vision that his grandfather had had while serving in WWII: He was in a landrover heading towards a booby trap when a ghost got in the path and made them stop and go a different route ... thus avoiding the bomb.

Stuart said that he believed in the afterlife .. but not the heaven and hell way that a lot of organised religions paint it - but rather that we leave the shell behind and our spirits go back to the collective energy of the Universe. When my friend said that, I stopped worrying about him, as our views were the same, and sat with him until he let out his last breath ... I kissed his forehead and walked out ... Stuart had already flown free, what was left behind wasn't my friend ... just a shell.

He came to me in a dream a few days later. I figured he was checking up on me. He took me for a drive in this dream. We were in a red sports car and we were accelerating hard towards the back of another car. I thought we were going to collide with it ... but at the last moment, wings shot out of the side and the car flew into the blue sky. Stuart asked me if I wanted to have a go and I said 'yes!' I couldn't make the car take off though and Stuart asked me one question, 'Why won't you let yourself take off?' I still can't answer that. BUT, I know my friend's okay.

Have a pleasant day...

Wolf

The back garden's nearly complete ...

2010-08-23T11:20:00.003+01:00

The back garden's undergone a transformation and has helped me tremendously over the last week or so.

When you live with PTSD,you get highs and lows and the last week or two have been a definite low. I lost myself in doing my garden, having rich, black soil all over my hands and arms and under my finger nails. I worked in whatever weather was present. Cooled by the rain as I watched the black pearls of soil mingled with rain roll down my arms, towards the roots of the new plants that I was potting. I felt connected and protected and sensed that necessary exchange of energy between myself and the rest of the natural world.

A song that I hadn't listened to in a good while had me thinking about the guys I served with and some of the mental grinder that we went through in Northern Ireland. It brought life to a complete stand still for the rest of that day. The next day I was out again ... potting, weeding, brushing. The physical pain was great by the end of the potting, I could hardly rotate my waist and every movement caused more pain ... but it was worth it. It was worth every drip of sweat and every pound of pain because when I sit out there in the darkness now I see the flickering solar lamps, the effigy of the Lord Buddha and the departing light of the day still glows with the vibrance and colours of the new tenants that I share my living space with ... the plants and their colourful presence.

There's also been a development in bird species frequenting this space: I saw a peregrin falcon over my roof space that's made return journeys, no doubt looking for a pigeon or dove to hunt; and yesterday a sparrow hawk patrolled through, probably drawn by the bird feeding station's users.

Today's task is to tidy this work room up and then to do some business related work.

I hope yours is a good day too.

Wolf

Easy come, easy go...

2010-08-15T09:49:00.002+01:00

I'd gotten some money back from the Inland Revenue this year from losses made on the business and had saved it for a photographic trip to somewhere but it seems to be dwindling away on the garden now and the house now. Next week the fence gets completed behind the shed, the loft hatch gets extended, the outside wall tap gets fitted and the arch way for the climbing plants arrives.

I've been looking at various plants and visualising myself sat in a natural haven of various colours ... the images change from day to day, however, there is one constant: Ferns! My neighbour has some that started growing from the see in birds droppings many years ago and they look amazing. She's said I can have some out of her garden ... and they're our natural woodland variety. I want them down the left hand side so that they have partial shade.

I'm pretty sure that the archway will have 2 Jasmine plants as well as some honey suckle, in the hope that some of the scents will whaft up to the room where I do my work.

I'm still pretty set on having one of the Virginia creepers around the front of the house too but will sort that out with the builder and maybe cement a pot to the hous wall so that no one bothers trying to steal it. This seems to be a quiet close though and we don't get any trouble here, so it should be ok. I've always wanted a house with creepers growing on the walls, changing colours with the seasons.

I used to have some lovely bushes in my house in cornwall that would flower twice a year - one had a lovely small violet coloured flower and the other a small white flower. I don't remember their names though ... I'd love to have their presence in my garden again. You never know what people are going to do when they buy your house ... I hope that they keep the trees and matured bushes going though.

One tree in my old place was 'special'. I was visiting a business colleague one Saturday morning and I saw that nearly every tree on a cerain part of a road had been ripped down or just broken at the lower part of the trunk. No doubt some drunken youths had though this was an amusing act to perform the previous night. All of the trees were tender saplings with trunks of about 5 inches in circumference. I was saddened and angered at the lack of regard for the natural world and ignorance of the necessity of trees.

One of the trees had been ripped out completely but the root ball was more or less complete. I rang the council and asked them to send someone out to 'rescue' the tree as it was the only one that could survive the situation. The council official seemed uninterested and made some comments that were less useful than a cow's fart (at least you can use the methane from a cow). I made the point that my taxes helped pay for the trees, which he didn't deny, so I said I'd take the tree home with me which he didn't object to. So I went around asking people for help to transport the tree ASAP to minimise the shock on its exposed roots etc.

After an hour of asking around, the people that came to the rescue were the 'Cornwall Paper Company', based hust down the road from where the tree lay. They got one of their biggest trucks out and their driver transported us home and helped me to plant the tree in my garden. I gave them some prints as a thank you and then spent the next few months worrying over whether the tree would make it or not. I was heartened every time I saw a garden bird use one of its branches ... it was as if there was an exchange of energy between the bird and the tree; a necessary exchange that allowed both to fulfill their journeys.

Imagine my joy when I saw the first new green shoots the following spring ...

I hope that tree is still safe.

Have a good Sunday.

Wolf